I was walking in the kitchen, stepped on something, and Owen yelled, “careful”. It always shocks me when he says something so relevant to the moment. I’m still not used to it. Every day it seems to be happening more and more. He went back to school today. He was so excited to get on that bus this morning he practically ran up the steps. We stood at the bus stop listening to Siri say all the words Owen was requesting in all the languages she knows. When he saw the bus turn the corner he started talking and pointing to which way they were going to go. It’s exciting to hear him so expressive. And the pointing, I don’t think it will ever get old. Pointing doesn’t come easy for him and he over exaggerates the motions, not understanding his hands completely are connected to him. He lifts his hand close to eye level, makes a fist, and then uncurls his pointer finger. He holds his hand outward and points his finger almost like he is about to release Spider-Man’s web. I waited for years for him to point. I want to ask him a million questions so he can point in all different directions. All these little steps are what lead us to the huge victories. I asked him to come to sit with me and read a book. He refused. He wouldn’t come. It was enough to make me cry. He came then. He’s still learning how to process emotions, heck, who am I kidding, I still learning to process emotions. He stood next to me at first, telling me I was happy, it only made me cry harder. Then he sat next to me and put his head on my shoulder, reaching up to my face. He started fake crying and I cried harder. All the manuals or advice in the world would never be enough to tell me how I handle my own emotions when my child doesn’t understand his. I remind myself to stay strong but there I was crying again. He looked for his toy today. He wanted the “Mozart dogs in a box come”. I told him it would be here soon. I really wonder how many tiny rollercoasters we can have. I have to remember that autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. He’s come so far and every day making huge progress. He was watching a story on his tablet and he was talking about the different scenarios that he saw on the screen. I can tell they are working with him on this. He watched a part of it, paused it, and then went on to say what the character was wearing and what they were doing. As we were getting ready for bed he noticed I had socks and told me there were flowers on them. I then went to get his clothes to change him after his bath. I always ask him what he wants to wear but tonight when I gave him the choices he said, “blue shirt”. That wasn’t one of the choices. I pulled his blue shirt out of the drawer and he got so excited. “I wear the blue one”, he said. He knows what he wants and that makes this momma happy. I know that the future is going to be bright for my sweet baby O. There’s no stopping him. Look forward, dream big, and know that you can make a difference. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.