I used to not want to walk out our front door because I knew there would be many things we would encounter and have to work through. Now walking back through my door I have to prepare for the instant meltdowns that occur. Time will change this as all things do, but for now, I have to help Owen understand what is happening. As soon as we get into the house, that is also now a huge process to get him inside, he runs to the window pulling the curtains open screaming, “tell them bye bye”. He’ll continue with different phrases about the people that are outside. These people do not necessarily have to be outside at that exact moment. He talks about people, animals, and cars from different days that have gone by. And if someone is standing on their porch and they aren’t supposed to be, according to Owen, then this upsets him as well. My heart aches for him. This is the only way he knows how to express his emotions, but here he is screaming and crying at the window about things I cannot control. Do I shield the window, maybe put up a film, or explain and explain again. A thousand questions for a thousand days, and like the lock on my front door, this too shall pass. He ran to the lock the other day, positioning it straight up. He didn’t scream, he moved the toggle, and walked away. That was days ago and he hasn’t done it since. So today I breathe through this and try to help him understand his emotions. And our emotions are all kicked up today. They cancelled school because of the snow. The cries started immediately when I told Owen. I explained to him it was because it was snowing. He screamed, “no” and proceeded to talk about the weather and planets, mentioning the sun, rain, and moon as well. He immediately wanted to confirm what he was doing today. He asked about his teacher, bowling, coffee shop, church, restaurants, and his grandma. He ran back to my bed crying about not going to school. Any change in routine is hard for Owen to process. He went through all the scenarios. He wanted me to come back to bed, sit, get dressed, paint, and then started all over again about why he couldn’t go to school. He ran to the window, looking out one more time to see the moon that he couldn’t see. I sat holding him for a while and this was all before six o’clock even rolled around. Through these moments all I can do is be thankful for his progress. He’s calmer now, eating his breakfast, and smiling away. Find your ray of sunshine even through the clouds. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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