I want to cry but I have to breathe. Owen woke by four. I heard him entertaining himself for a few minutes before he came to me. He wanted to talk to me about the iguana that isn’t an iguana and the ladybug that is an insect but not what he wants it to be. I try to make him understand he has to say what things actually are or explain what he wants something to be. I know it gets very confusing for him especially when he watches so many different videos with the alphabet and they are all different objects for each letter. After we went through those steps he moved on to the other game he loves. He wanted me to play it with him but by this time I needed two things, coffee and the bathroom. I’m not sure which one I needed more. Once I got up he immediately started talking about “no chocolate milk”. I gave him some anyways and cereal. After a while, we read our book and as soon as we were done he ate his cereal and asked for a waffle. Soon we got dressed and we were off to wait for the bus. I tried not to cry as they pulled away. His last day until August. I knew he would have a hard time processing it all. When he got off the bus he immediately started asking for his teacher. I knew he would. And he didn’t stop all night except when he was asking about his therapists for tomorrow and grandma for Saturday. I had asked him if he wanted to go walking in his little red wagon and he said no. I told him we could go walking in the morning. We’ll see if he wants to go. One day at a time I remind myself. The behaviors will change over the next few days and it makes me long for his routine that he so desperately loves. I already had to stop him multiple times from trying to “swim in the water” in the toilet. I can’t limit his access because that defeats the purpose but it’s also going to keep me on my toes for the next few days, weeks, months, all a guess. He was mostly happy all night and that’s what matters. I’m thankful he has a few things to look forward to and I’m trying to plan more but activities are also hard on him as well so we take one moment at a time and we breathe. I convinced him needed a bath and for someone that didn’t want to take a bath, he sure changed his mind. He fell asleep in my arms and I’m praying for a good night’s sleep. We laughed, we loved, we learned today and he sure made me smile. Today may not have gone according to your plan but maybe the new plan will lead to something bigger. When all else fails succeed at something else. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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