We are on the no sleep train again and I want to get off. Owen came to my room right after midnight, but luckily he fell back asleep. It’s still hard for me, it seems like I toss and turn for a while. He woke happy this morning and that’s what matters. There are some days his words flow easily and other days it feels like he can’t find anything but the sounds to scream with. I watch him when he sings and that seems to be one of the times he has the most focus. Singing comes so naturally to him. As a baby I wanted him to feel the music and what it could do for your soul. I would take one of his hands and put it on my throat, and the other hand on my lips or my heart, singing songs and letting him feel the vibrations. He has several instruments that we work with and he is learning to sing and play at the same time. He doesn’t truly understand the concept of a melody or how to play a tune yet, but when he sings through songs using his voice and not trying to mimic a character he has an amazing tone. When I picked him up from school he had one thing on his mind. “Wanna ride”, he said. And that excitement carried him through the meltdown light without so much as a scream. I still braced myself for it though. He’s been enjoying riding his long-forgotten “old MacDonald had a farm tractor” as he calls it, singing the words. But it’s also frustrating to him. It’s a push pedal and that concept is still very hard for him to grasp. He’ll hold it down for a moment with his foot, but then lets it go to move his feet to a different section. And steering is not something he understands at all. It moves fast enough that I can’t really help him steer and move at the same time. Running into things, with a “whoopsie” is what he continues to do. I thought I would take him to the park because it had a flatter area for him to try and drive his tractor. Instead, he wanted to go down the slide, but that meant going the wrong direction down several of the other sections and then running off from me. He can outrun me in a heartbeat so I decided that we would try another day and another park. Through challenges, I still see progress, for both of us. Know that you are a lot stronger than you think you are. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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