Dinner takes a long time when you eat one grain of rice at a time, asking for popcorn and veggie straws between bites and then asking for more chocolate milk please in French while spelling chocolate. Owen loved his dinner of pork chops and rice but when I told him he had to use his fork he decided instead to pick each piece of rice up and eat it. Dinner can last for hours I’m here to tell you. Friday nights are hard because there is no school tomorrow. I feel my world spiraling as there is only one more week of school before the summer break. He talks about summer break and knows he goes back to school in August. His teacher is doing a fantastic job of helping him understand that the break is coming up but it’s still a matter of getting through the days. Plus the progress he makes when skills are reinforced both at school and home makes a huge difference for him. I pray summer school will be an easy transition for him. He walked by his bowling pin that sits in his bedroom and then he said it again, “I’m not going bowling today”. It’s been over a year and in the last few days he’s been talking about bowling more and more. The pandemic changed so much of our lives. My heart hurts thinking about the tears he cried in my arms, the screams that echoed in my ears, and the emotions he didn’t know how to express from not being able to go bowling. The list goes on and on but bowling, that was hard. It was our Saturday routine, his excitement for it grew and grew each week and then gone. How can you explain something when you don’t even understand it. Sure, in general, I get it but still, it’s hard. Well, tomorrow’s the day, I think. I’m sure I’ll overthink it all night but tomorrow’s the day we will go back through those doors to see the ball go down the lane. I pray it all works out. I pray it goes well. I pray I have the strength to go. His smile will be worth it. I think back to when he ran down the lane so he could tell the pins bye-bye. Oh my, my heart stopped that day. All I could think about was getting to my baby. After that, we started wearing safety bracelets. But he grew so much in that bowling alley and I know he will be happy again. When it was time for his bath I felt like we were once again in the three bears story. As the water streamed down on him from the shower, he said, “it’s too hot it’s too cool it’s too warm”. He went on, “it’s toooooo warm”, exaggerating the word too and shaking his legs in the water. This is becoming his nightly mantra, wanting me to tell him it’s just right. He drifted off to sleep in my arms, telling me that he wasn’t supposed to touch his eyeballs and “no sleep today”. Well thankfully he didn’t touch his eyeballs and he did fall asleep. I’m thankful for the joy he brings to my heart. His smile is my driving force and his laugh brings music to my soul. Find your inspiration, be motivated, and know that tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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