The repetitive behaviors are in full swing and Owen’s repetitive behaviors are making me have repetitive behaviors. It’s a complete cycle of repetition. How do we stop the train. Last night he yelled about the blanket that was already on him. Tonight he yelled about the blanket that was on him. I told him it was on him and he screamed at me. My heart breaks when he gets upset about something that he can’t process or isn’t what he needs it to be. Tonight, after he screamed for ten minutes, asking about the blanket and then yelling “no big hug” when I tried to help him, I stopped him, telling him it was quiet time and that he needed to count. I started, “one two three”. He finally started counting. I told him to breathe. He started screaming again. I made him count again. He counted to his version of forty, “thirty-one thirty-two thirty-three thirty-four thirty-five eighty-six eighty-seven eighty-eight eighty-nine forty”. After the thirties, he always does the top few numbers in the eighties and then says the next number right back in place. He told me “no more again” and stopped counting. I told him to breathe and find calm in his brain. I’m always trying to find ways to redirect his energy. I know it’s hard for him to process it all. His last few days have been filled with lots of emotions. I want to hold him and scream with him some days. I remind him that he is not alone and through these moments we will grow together. I hang on to the fact that he is thriving in school, loves to go, and is learning life skills. Each day is a gift. Even through the struggles and challenges, I tell him that he can do anything he sets his mind to. When we were coming home from his therapy today he struggled once again with the stoplights. I asked him to say different phrases in all the languages he loves. It didn’t take long for him to be onto me but at least for a few minutes, he was happy. When we got home he ate all of his dinner, sang lots of songs with me, and was very calm. Now to figure out how to translate all of that to a calmer bedtime. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Find your strength, dream big, and make the world a better place. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.