Owen’s back to watching the vacuum videos. This time it’s mostly about the maintenance of them. And truthfully it’s about the sound of vacuum. He listened to the same five seconds of the vacuum for an hour last night. A guy talks about the filter, then we are off, and running. The stimming starts immediately, as soon as he hears the “vrooooom”, arms up in the air, and the smile spreads across his face. He pauses it, and starts it all over again, repeatedly. He gets distracted by talking about Santa Claus. “Let’s go see Santa”, he says, and then quickly adds, “Santa go bye bye to de North Pole”. He goes on, “we’ll see him waiter waiter”; still having trouble pronouncing his Ls. He loves going to see the fish at Cabela’s, in their big tank, and when we went there one time, he had his picture taken with Santa. Now he randomly talks about him. We have the whole year to prepare for Santa’s next arrival, and I think he will be excited for his return. This is the most he’s been interested in Santa, mentioning him every few days. He asked Santa for fish, and church; me, wondering how much he understands about gifts. A big sip of my hot tea to get me through my emotions. Some days the loneliness is overwhelming, other days there’s so much joy it keeps it at bay. His words are becoming more fluid, and his emotions can be intense. He fell asleep next to me on the couch, my own emotions getting the better of me for most of the day. I wonder how I can feel so lonely in a room full of people. He’s so peaceful now, all his worries far away. Tomorrow’s our day for our adventures. Owen asked about bowling repeatedly tonight, and all his other favorite things to do. I’m thankful we have found things that we can do together, and we both love. Through challenges I see victories, and progress every day. Every once in awhile the doctor’s words still flash through my mind, he may not talk, she said, and I think not only is he talking, but he’s soaring to new heights every day. Find strength in knowing all things are possible. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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