“Hi mommy”, Owen said. I was kind of taken aback by his words. He says it all the time but he had been repeating, “hi Owen hi Owen hi Owen” and then he switched. It felt like a huge connection again. My day was very emotional and he can read me like a book. To calm his world he needs me to say hi to him but sometimes I’m trying to hold it all together in that moment which makes it even harder on him. But his words turned my emotions around quickly. He went from anxiously saying his name to calmly changing his demeanor and saying hi to me. We were in the car so I really couldn’t see him to it but I could feel the change in him. It felt like his whole body moved when he realized he needed to reference me. There’s joy in those words and excitement in those moments. When we got home he started walking up the steps backwards. My heart races every time he does this. He was trying to hug me while on the steps, not holding on, and walking backwards. I try to make him understand he has to be careful but it’s met with no real understanding. I have hope because I hear my words coming out of his mouth when he does his daredevil moves. He says, “be careful” and yet there is no resemblance of anything on the careful side of life happening. I breathe. I learned today Owen can count to at least twenty-five in Italian. I showed him the calendar because he was struggling with when he would see his teacher again. It was a fine line if I was going to help or hurt the meltdown that was in progress by showing him a calendar that he generally wants to hide from. He handled it by saying the date in Italian. He proceeded to say numerous numbers in order and pretty much covered them all up to the date. What else do you do besides then fix dinner of shrimp and cheese grits and I watched dinner quickly disappear while he was listening to Siri talk about animals in Italian. Maybe tomorrow he will be counting the sheep in Italian as he drifts off to sleep. My dream is for hope and calm for everyone. And the laughter and joy to all like my sweet baby O brings to me. Find your smile and share it with the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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