Every night now Owen wants to take a book to bed with him. Well, generally, it’s every book he owns but I make him decide on one. He holds it for a while, then he wants to read it with me, and sometimes he will let me put it on the nightstand, other times he wants to hold it until he falls asleep. The book he has chooses this week is about a dog. In the next few months, I plan to get Owen a dog. We talk a lot about it but mostly it’s him telling me no we are not getting one. However, when he talks to others he randomly will say he is getting a dog. His first answer to most questions is “no”. I think it’s part of his processing. I also think he doesn’t necessarily have the conversation skills to answer the back and forth questions he knows I will ask and this becomes hard for him to communicate with me. I know that this momma is happy he wants to read so much with me even if the book has a dog or no dog included. As the week has worn on he has been able to read more of the story himself and gets excited as he does it. The reminder that he is talking, reading, and learning to express himself puts sunshine in my soul. I’ve alway cut his hair and never taken him to a place. I’ve struggled thinking about taking him somewhere when I know with all his sensory needs it could be extremely overwhelming. I also know how hard it is on him to get his hair cut. Tonight I cut his hair and he was relatively calm but as I was finishing I realized exactly how much he was moving and how short some of the sections got. I know it will grow but it is also a reminder of the struggles he goes through with the noises from me cutting his hair. He winced sometimes with the sound of the scissors in his hair. He will say, “cut cut cut you done” and I’ve only cut one tiny section. There are nights I can only cut one piece off and other nights like tonight where I cut a lot but the movements also made me cut his hair in jagged shapes. There are days I think I should let his hair grow long but I know it’s better to cut his hair and also help him through the cutting process. I have literally worked on his hair every night for weeks only to know as soon as I was done we would have to start the process all over again to keep the length short enough. And sometimes I breathe. The rules for everything can be incredibly overwhelming but I have to remind myself to move forward. It makes me sad I cut his hair too short in a few areas but I also rejoice because he let me really do a full haircut all in one night. Progress is all how you look at it and accept it. The meltdowns were all closer to the breaking point for him over words and spelling. He wanted to yell at me for making noises and not instantly being able to find a language I didn’t recognize on his tablet. When I couldn’t find it with the voice-activated option on youtube he wanted me to spell it so he could type it into the search. The problem was how long the title was and in a language, I didn’t recognize with words beyond my spelling ability when I couldn’t see them to spell them. I held him through the moments and eventually, he moved on. Thankfully we avoided the huge meltdowns and got through our night. He was all smiles as we read his dog book and I know that tomorrow is a brand new day. Rejoice in your victories, follow your dreams to the sky, and make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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