Owen woke before midnight. I hadn’t even gone to bed yet. I was still sitting on the couch when I heard him get out of bed. I waiting for the screams after the day he had. They didn’t come. He snuggled up beside me and then moved into my arms. It wasn’t long and he was out again. It also wasn’t long before I figured out I would be sleeping on the couch. It happens a lot. I’ve learned to embrace it and I’ve learned that the couch that was the perfect size a few months ago is way too small for the both of us to be sleeping on now. It’s a sectional but a very small one and I think even if it was the king-size version of sectionals it would probably still be too small but maybe I at least wouldn’t feel like I’m falling off of it. He is in constant need of input even during sleep so he pushes himself into the corners of the couch or bed. He also will drill his head into my head. He hardly ever does it when he’s awake but for some reason, during sleep, he will find a way to put his head on mine and push really hard into me. I’ve tried to create a cave-like effect in his bed so he would be cocooned by pillows and blankets but that still doesn’t bring the comfort he seeks. I breathe. I tell myself all the time that I can’t fix everything and I can’t possibly understand everything he is going through but I still want to try. I have to let go and encourage myself to keep moving forward. He woke this morning in a much calmer mood. He was happy and ready to go to school. He was also anxious that he wasn’t going to get to go to school but I told him the weather was fine. He still can’t get past the weather delays from the week before. I keep telling myself the tides will turn and we will get back to doing all the activities he loved and his routine will be set in stone again. For today I’m encouraged for tomorrow and the tomorrows yet to come. Never give up. The impossible becomes the possible when you believe. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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