The thing about emotions is I’ve got them. Lots of them. And some days like today they are big-time emotional. It is hard for Owen to wade through them and process his own emotions but when you add in mine it’s a whole other ballgame.
Two o’clock in the morning came and was met with screaming from Owen about getting his tablet. This was met with me telling him it was nighttime and to go back to sleep. He went to his room without his tablet for all of a couple minutes and was right back to get it. I was too exhausted to even go through the process of explaining to him again it was nighttime. I was not going to win this battle or even get close to convincing him to go back to his room without his tablet.
Some days feel like the cycle keeps rolling forward with no changes. Owen’s repetitive behaviors are repetitive, beyond repetitive. The theories, specialists, advisors, and doctors that we have seen over the years still leave me with the same question over and over and over again. How do I help my son?
I woke with a headache that pretty much stayed with me all day. I guess when you get about two hours of sleep that is what you are stuck with. No sleep didn’t phase Owen at all. He was more than ready to get to school and come home.
He was not pleased with his darker pant choice but he was happy mine were lighter. A few short months ago this felt like we were almost through the blue pants thing and now it is a very big deal every single day. The cycle is cycling. We finished getting dressed and we went outside.
The bus wasn’t long and he was off to see some of his favorite people. He returned home with the same energy he left with and I had about the same as well. I asked him if he wanted to go to the park and before I even completely walked in the door he was off to his room to change and get his tablet.
I cried more tears today than I had in a very long time. It felt like the weight of the world and the entire solar system was sitting on my shoulders and Owen’s behaviors were connecting to every single one of my emotions. He doesn’t know how to process them so instead he does the play-by-play of what he thinks it is all about. “I’m happy I’m sad I’m sad Mommy,” he said, which made me cry harder because he was laughing every time he said it. It breaks my heart that he gets upset when I’m upset but my emotions are not always just about what he is going through. Life has been full of the “one more thing” lately and I’m ready for the unbroken road to be the path I walk on.
Owen wanted to take his bath early. If you say don’t do something then it gets done a hundred more times. I try to explain to him that he shouldn’t drink the bath water but he guzzles it down. He won’t drink a glass of water without pouring half of it out but bath water he is all about. The more I tell him not to do it the more he does it. Trying to keep him from doing something adds excitement to it and he wants to do it more. One day at a time I remind myself.
Tomorrow is supposed to be a very busy day for us. I’m praying he sleeps tonight and I do too. He repeatedly said, “Grandma’s house” all evening but I’m not sure with our schedule and hers if he will see her. I didn’t want to get him started on that because he for sure wouldn’t sleep again. Thankfully he fell asleep quickly and I don’t think I will be up late myself.
My favorite part of our day was listening to him play his drum and I’m thankful for how far he has come. Through our challenges come the greatest of victories. Each day I pray for more understanding for both of and through love, kindness, and grace we will walk the path together. Be bold, be beautiful, be you. Smiles to all and donut daze!
Two o’clock in the morning came and was met with screaming from Owen about getting his tablet. This was met with me telling him it was nighttime and to go back to sleep. He went to his room without his tablet for all of a couple minutes and was right back to get it. I was too exhausted to even go through the process of explaining to him again it was nighttime. I was not going to win this battle or even get close to convincing him to go back to his room without his tablet.
Some days feel like the cycle keeps rolling forward with no changes. Owen’s repetitive behaviors are repetitive, beyond repetitive. The theories, specialists, advisors, and doctors that we have seen over the years still leave me with the same question over and over and over again. How do I help my son?
I woke with a headache that pretty much stayed with me all day. I guess when you get about two hours of sleep that is what you are stuck with. No sleep didn’t phase Owen at all. He was more than ready to get to school and come home.
He was not pleased with his darker pant choice but he was happy mine were lighter. A few short months ago this felt like we were almost through the blue pants thing and now it is a very big deal every single day. The cycle is cycling. We finished getting dressed and we went outside.
The bus wasn’t long and he was off to see some of his favorite people. He returned home with the same energy he left with and I had about the same as well. I asked him if he wanted to go to the park and before I even completely walked in the door he was off to his room to change and get his tablet.
I cried more tears today than I had in a very long time. It felt like the weight of the world and the entire solar system was sitting on my shoulders and Owen’s behaviors were connecting to every single one of my emotions. He doesn’t know how to process them so instead he does the play-by-play of what he thinks it is all about. “I’m happy I’m sad I’m sad Mommy,” he said, which made me cry harder because he was laughing every time he said it. It breaks my heart that he gets upset when I’m upset but my emotions are not always just about what he is going through. Life has been full of the “one more thing” lately and I’m ready for the unbroken road to be the path I walk on.
Owen wanted to take his bath early. If you say don’t do something then it gets done a hundred more times. I try to explain to him that he shouldn’t drink the bath water but he guzzles it down. He won’t drink a glass of water without pouring half of it out but bath water he is all about. The more I tell him not to do it the more he does it. Trying to keep him from doing something adds excitement to it and he wants to do it more. One day at a time I remind myself.
Tomorrow is supposed to be a very busy day for us. I’m praying he sleeps tonight and I do too. He repeatedly said, “Grandma’s house” all evening but I’m not sure with our schedule and hers if he will see her. I didn’t want to get him started on that because he for sure wouldn’t sleep again. Thankfully he fell asleep quickly and I don’t think I will be up late myself.
My favorite part of our day was listening to him play his drum and I’m thankful for how far he has come. Through our challenges come the greatest of victories. Each day I pray for more understanding for both of and through love, kindness, and grace we will walk the path together. Be bold, be beautiful, be you. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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