There’s joy in my heart when I hear the happiness in my son’s voice. This morning after Owen woke for the day he immediately asked to “watch de movie”. I love that music is such a big part of his life. He went to sleep watching what he calls the movie, but it’s really a video of a musician playing a drum. I let him watch it for a few minutes before we got up and then told him we had to get ready for school. The next request for music came and then the next one after that. I think about how far we’ve come. A few years ago I couldn’t imagine, even though I hoped and prayed for growth, where we would be today. The changes are amazing, in both of us. I’m learning to embrace life, the life I have now. It’s different than I imagined and that takes time to work through. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. Some days are more emotional than others. Those are the days I wake up praying loudly to get through the day, just get me through the day. Other days I see the beauty in every single step we take. I got mad at myself for all these emotions, but there is truly nothing I could do to change them. After the boat rocks and the ebbs tide move forward. Let it all go and know that you are allowed to have emotions. As we walked to the bus stop Owen seemed calmer. He was talking to me, repeating “that’s me”. I kept trying to get him to explain more, wondering if that’s really the words he wanted to use. His vocabulary is still delayed. He’s made vast improvements, but he still has those words that aren’t connected to the actual meaning. He will associate certain moments in time with words and then I try to figure out what scenario he is going through. When the bus arrived the joy washed over Owen. I could see his excitement as soon as it turned the corner. When he got on the bus there was a different aide than normal. He said, “hi cowboy hi cowboy” and was very animated about it. The aide had on a baseball cap, but for some reason, Owen was calling him cowboy. This could be a reference to a video he watches or something he’s learning at school. Today though I felt the pure joy my son has for life and that will keep the smile on my face. Through emotions, we learn and grow. I remind myself that positive words and positive actions equal a positive life. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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