Today was filled with emotions. Lots of emotions. Some days all I want is calm. Today was one of those days, but there really wasn’t any calm to be found. But there were lots of smiles from my sweet baby O. He has not wanted to talk to his teacher or watch any of the videos that she has posted since he’s been out of school. It was such a hard transition for him. One day in school and the next gone with no real warning or me preparing him for a break. I always try to prepare him for the road ahead, but this was one of those things that what do I even say. “School’s broken”, that’s what my solution was. Anytime he would start to get upset I would tell him that school was broken. He understands the word “broken” so I thought it would help. That was when I thought this was only going to last a couple of weeks. Now how long can this go on. The older he gets the more his routine means even more to him. So here we are weeks out of school when routine and preparedness means everything and we have none of it. He wants the structure, but yet the structure he seeks is what we can’t have. I’ve been trying to get him to work on his schoolwork. His teacher has given it to him in paper form and also app-based. He’s been doing better with the apps, but still hasn’t really wanted to work on them. Every time I show him the papers he has screamed or thrown himself on the floor going into complete meltdown. He’s slowly been more accepting of at least looking at his work, but still upsets him. I’ve left the papers out where he could see them, but not push them on him. When I went to the bathroom I came back and he had one of his papers sitting next to him on his table. I felt like that was huge progress. I was so excited to see him looking at it. I’ve been trying to find similar exercises for him to go through, but to see him take his actual papers made me extremely happy. One step at a time I remind myself. I didn’t want to push him, but tomorrow that will be the first paper we work on. We went for our walk this evening and he was going through his math equations. “One plus one echoes two”, he said. And I thought, one plus one echoes my heart. He is my world. Through his smiles, I rejoice. Find some calm even in the storm for tomorrow will be a better day. You are not alone in this journey. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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