Owen slept all night in his bed. All the days are blend together, but I can’t remember when that last happened. I keep looking at Owen’s hand. They must have been working on art projects at school yesterday. He has a marker print all the way around his hand. It’s starting to fade, but through hand washing, and a bath, it’s lasted. He didn’t focus on the lines, and for that I’m thankful. He’s been sitting on me since I sat down. I woke up, and went downstairs to the basement to get some laundry, while Owen was still asleep. It’s one of those things I have to time so Owen doesn’t get upset. I heard his feet running upstairs. I knew he was looking for me. I quickly got up the stairs, calling to him. I knew if he didn’t see me soon he would start screaming. I was able to ease his mind before it sent him into a meltdown. There are some days I can move about the house, and he is fine with it; other days he will follow me, or start screaming immediately if I am out of his sight for too long. It keeps me on my toes. My emotions get wrapped up in a ball some days, trying to stay one step ahead of the meltdowns. The lights in the living room are starting to bother him again. He doesn’t want it on all the time; he already gets upset when the bedroom lights are on. He can’t see our bedrooms from the living room, but he can still see the shadows that it casts. I never imagined the emotions that would run through me when a light turns on, or off. When I walk in my bedroom, flipping the switch, I wait for the scream, even if Owen is asleep, or at school. This is a process for both of us, learning, and growing, as we go. I see how much joy my son brings to others, and I know he is my gift. I thought about how lucky I am to see Owen’s smile. Through challenges look for the rays of sunshine. Smile, and watch the world smile back at you. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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