My sensory kiddo slept all night. There are questions that walk through my mind, trying to determine why he slept last night. I have a huge U shaped body pillow in his bed. Yesterday I changed the cover on it to a different type of fabric. The feel of it is more like the blanket that he loves so much. So now I wonder if it was purely because he was exhausted from not sleeping well the nights before or did the new cover do the trick. Whichever way it is, he woke happy and very interactive. He also went to the potty and we had a big celebration. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. The days seem to blend together and my emotions weigh heavy. He’s seven and potty training feels like it will never end. I have to be the captain of this ship, but sometimes I want it to sail already. I know that he really is doing well with it, but still wishing we were to the finish line. We walked to the bus, him practically dragging me there. It feels good to see him so excited about school. I stood on the sidewalk, watching the aide buckle him in. I would see his head pop up every once in a while, looking over at me. I always stand there holding up the “I love you” sign, waving it back and forth. I want him to always know I’m there for him. I’m thankful he loves school and the bus. When we come home from our day he always wants to talk about what’s to come the next day and the days after that. He asks to go to church, bowling, and the coffee shop. He is thriving and I’m glad that he has things that he looks forward to and wants to do. There are days it takes all my strength to walk out my door, but knowing that Owen is happy makes those moments wash away. I’ve been talking to him more about his emotions and screaming. I keep hoping that the more we talk about it the more that he will be able to process it. You would think by now I would get used to the screaming, but it’s still emotional for me. Maybe I need to have a talk with myself. Through Owen’s eyes, I’ve learned more about myself and the world. Be kind to your heart and know that today is a stepping stone for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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