Owen slept until four and that was about it but he sure tried to go back to sleep, kinda. He got into bed with me since I said no tablet and then he proceeded to put his feet in my back and then got out of my bed to get his tablet. So it worked for us. At least it was almost time to get up anyways for school. He was in a very good mood and couldn’t wait to go to school. His teacher sent me a message today explaining how well he is doing. That makes me so happy. She told me he was doing great with the way he was processing things and interacting in class when she asks questions. I love how his teacher is so invested in him and the other kids. What I loved was when he came home he was able to tell me about the fruit he told his teacher about. The follow through is the greatest. And him knowing that I asked him a question that he got right in school boosted his confidence and I could see it in his smile. He told me he wanted to go to the park, ride a tractor with Goofy, and go for a walk. I told him that we could go to the park but I didn’t know if anyone could go to the park with us. I told him but we could go for a walk or to the tractors if he wanted. But as soon as we walked in our house he said, “momma change” and immediately took his shoes off. I told him again we could go anywhere he wanted but he just said, “momma change” again. He started running all over the house to make sure everything was in its place. I think once he comes in the house the rules he sets in motion control the rest of our night. Or so it feels like to me. Sometimes it is about the emotions. I know he is going to come check on me one more time. He wants to make sure I’m not doing whatever it is that he doesn’t want me to do. Other times he has to look to make sure nothing is on my bed and it’s over and over and over. I’m trying to work on behavioral redirect and several other methods but it’s exhausting and emotional. It’s all about the emotions. All about them. This is my child and he’s constantly questioning me by watching my every move even if he doesn’t understand it like that or mean it in that way. It’s still hard. I can only imagine all of the emotions he goes through as well. Sometimes I can see the expression rush over his face when he is overwhelmed or doesn’t know how to handle something. I want to scoop him up and hold him until the moment passes. It’s twofold though because I’m feeling some of those overwhelming emotions as well. All I can do is tell him I love him, keep pushing forward, and research a little more. One day at a time I have to remind myself. I loved hearing him sing tonight and it was in some other language that he changed his tablet to when he was singing with Mickey on the farm. I’m thankful for his growth and his song. Always remember today is the first day of the rest of your life and you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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