I don’t know which one of us has been more emotional this week, but here I sit ready to cry at the drop of a hat. So if everyone could stop dropping hats that would be great. It’s been hard for the last few nights. And the last few days. Sensory input has been at the top of our list for the last few days as well. Owen is back to being very concerned about my hair and wanting “big hugs”. He says this so that I will reach down to him and he can chew on my hair. He wants the hug as well, but chewing on my hair is the bigger part of the input he is seeking. So many moments rush back through my mind tonight like a cacophony of sound blaring quick memories at me. I want to cry, but I might be too exhausted to even do that. He screamed driving commands at me all day, even when we weren’t in the car. I have to stay focused on remaining calm. The screaming I think is what gets me on edge. Sometimes it isn’t even the upset screams, but the happy burst screams that come without any warning and are generally very high pitched that get me. I look at him peacefully asleep now, holding his “bucket”, on his beanbag pillow, and I know that everything is going to be fine. I tell him all the time we are a team and we have to get through these things together. I’ll move him soon to his bed. I have to work on getting him to fall asleep in his bed, but that always turns into him wanting my bed and more screams. Plus, he wants all the lights on. If I try to have it dark that also results in screams. They say to pick your battles. Today I pick to concentrate on the smiles, the rest of the emotions can get the best of you if you let them. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Let go of today for it is written in stone and know that tomorrow the possibilities are endless. Find your strength and go after your dreams. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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