I’m counting last night as a sleep win. That’s what I’m sticking with. Four really isn’t close to five, but it was a little after four and when he got into bed with me, after a brief discussion of the day’s events to follow, he went back to sleep for a couple more hours. And slept well enough that I could actually go to the bathroom without screams, cries, or him following me. There are so many emotions attached to those few hours of my life. Those moments have been built on the days, months, and years prior to what is and isn’t going to happen in my waking hours. I walk on eggshells trying to keep him calm and help him to understand that life doesn’t always go according to plan. I called Owen my kangaroo baby before I even understood the path that we were on. I watch him jumping now and I feel my house shake as he jumps across the floor. He’s constantly in motion and I’m constantly trying to find ways to help him calm his body. It’s not necessarily the motions I want him to stop because I know his body needs the input, but I want him to understand that there are other ways to get the input he needs. He won’t always be able to jump, run, or roll on the floor when he needs to, so I work with him on breathing techniques, counting, and redirecting the motions he needs to do. He doesn’t fully understand the concept yet, but when we both can concentrate on the process I see it helping him. He’s in a great mood this morning, requesting church every few minutes, and he wanted to change out of his pajamas. I see growth in these moments and I’m thankful. Autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. I try to focus on our victories and not dwell on the moments of uncertainty, but I still have those moments the tears want to fall. I remind myself of the steps we’ve gone through to get to the point we are at now. Positive words and positive actions equal a positive life. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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