Some days I feel like the world is caving in on me, I can’t do anything right. Other days I’m on top of the world, like The Carpenters song I learned so many years ago. Life is interesting that way. Owen was so excited to go to school today. We were waiting on the porch for the bus to come. I was blowing bubbles for him and he kept talking about the bus coming around the corner. I am thankful for his words. I couldn’t wait to hear his words, to have a conversation with him, to know what he was thinking, and here they are. I still want to know what his favorite color is, but I wonder if he even understands the concept. I know his favorite food is veggie straws or I think I know and his favorite song is The Wheels on the Bus, but does he prefer certain colors. It will all come. I know it will. There are changes in him daily. There are changes in me too. I often wonder how to remain strong every day. This whiny factor seems to wash over me some days and I can’t stop crying. Today was Owen’s last day of summer school. There was a comfort in seeing the bus come, taking him off to see his teacher and enjoying his day. My sweet baby O sees beauty in the routine of the world, knowing what is going to happen next. Days that aren’t routine throw us off. But I have to remember days that are routine can throw us off too. I look for the expected and unexpected in every single moment it seems. Waiting for the “what’s next” moment. But things keep me rooted in those guessing moments; like Owen still talking about our lights being off months ago, because someone hit a pole. Today I tell myself to see the sunshine in Owen’s eyes, hear the ocean in his words, and cast the rain away from my own eyes. Find your strength in this moment, see how far you’ve come, and know that tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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