In The Face Of Saturday

The words spilled out of his mouth I think before he was even truly awake. Owen said, “bowling”, ready for our Saturday. He had gotten into bed with me around five in the morning and he actually went back to sleep for another few hours. That’s a win. I keep thinking about Owen’s words. I asked him, “what’s your name”. It was something we worked on for years and then one day he said, “Owen”. It was the most glorious day ever. The other day I asked him again to tell me his name. He wouldn’t or he couldn’t at that moment. My heart fell. It wasn’t something I had kept working on with him. I asked him over and over and over again, hoping he would say his name. I told him to say, Owen, almost pleading with him. I moved on trying not to put my own emotions out there. I talked to him about how old he was, telling him to say, “seven”. After a few minutes of trying, I moved on from that as well and we sat in silence. From the back of the car, he said, “seven”. It had been at least five minutes since I asked him to say it. I rejoiced and wanted to cry in that very moment. How could I not ask my son “what’s his name” every day, knowing how hard it was for him to answer questions. I feel like it’s back to square one, knowing it’s not, but my emotions sit heavy with me. He stores words, holding onto them until he needs them. I know this, but it’s still emotional. He’s learning so much right now and I know it all has to be overwhelming to him. He’s laying across the arm of the couch and it reminds me of when he was a toddler, always trying to put pressure on his gut. That one action lead us to the journey of dairy and gluten free. Through research, I learned about the brain-gut connection and the path to supplements. Within days of taking Owen off whole milk, he was pulling letters out of a box saying what they were. I will never forget that moment. Never give up. Every day I tell Owen he is amazing. I’m learning to be kind to myself and taking one moment at a time. Believe in yourself, be kind to your soul, and know that you are amazing. Smiles to all and donut daze!