Nothing is better than hearing Owen yell “yeehaw” when he is playing on his tablet. I don’t know why he yelled it but it felt good to hear him say it. The loneliness sits in your heart very heavy some days so that “yeehaw” is a beautiful reminder that my amazing son is right here with me.
I stood crying in the kitchen. Maybe it was all the things that procrastination gets you nowhere with. Maybe it was the screams that echoed through the house at three in the morning when Owen woke up because he knew he was going to grandma’s house so he could play on the black computer. Maybe it was because I was hurting from grief. Maybe it was just because.
But I do know my sweet baby O understood I was hurting. He doesn’t know how to process my emotions. He is still learning how to process his but he does know we are a team and we get through everything together. He made a crying noise mimicking me. He then came to me. He hugged me and he pulled my hair. That’s how he handles all of my emotions. I told him I loved him and mommy was upset but it would be fine. I tell myself that crying is a process he has to see and learn to understand. He’s getting there.
My growing boy is growing. I don’t think he is ever full anymore. He ate cereal, then he ate more cereal with his two sausage pancake dogs, and he requested hotdogs, biscuits, pancakes, and chicken sticks, and finally settled on wanting more shrimp all before we got ready for church.
I fixed my breakfast and I had him try my cheese grits. He ate the tiniest of bites in the way he does but he then ate two spoonfuls. That’s a big step into putting a new food into the mix. I’ve tried them many times before with him and it was always a no but today it was a yes. A tiny yes but nonetheless a yes.
When we got to church Owen wanted to see his favorite people. We got on the elevator and he went through the phrases that he had learned from our conversations. As the doors opened he said, “I hope so” when he asked one more time if his friends would be there. One of them was and he was elated.
After church, he was ready to go to grandma’s house. He wanted his lunch from grandma like it was his Saturday so off we went. He wanted his turkey.
I talk to him about why we like things or people. I want him to understand that people’s actions help us like them. Like if someone is kind to us or how they make us feel. I always tell him he is amazing. I am trying to get him to make that connection and find the words to describe the people he loves. I said, “I love you because you are” and he said, “Amazing I’m amazing.” This is what matters.
He had a great time at grandma’s house and the rest of the night flew by. He played his harmonica and talked about music therapy tomorrow. He had his tablet on a bowling video and was doing the Wii bowling. Bedtime was quick and I’m praying he sleeps tonight. He is ready for his tomorrow.
Life is real, raw, and emotional but the connections with our family and friends are what hold us together. Owen’s laughter, hugs, and smiles are the best. Let your smile shine bright and laugh until your heart is content. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I stood crying in the kitchen. Maybe it was all the things that procrastination gets you nowhere with. Maybe it was the screams that echoed through the house at three in the morning when Owen woke up because he knew he was going to grandma’s house so he could play on the black computer. Maybe it was because I was hurting from grief. Maybe it was just because.
But I do know my sweet baby O understood I was hurting. He doesn’t know how to process my emotions. He is still learning how to process his but he does know we are a team and we get through everything together. He made a crying noise mimicking me. He then came to me. He hugged me and he pulled my hair. That’s how he handles all of my emotions. I told him I loved him and mommy was upset but it would be fine. I tell myself that crying is a process he has to see and learn to understand. He’s getting there.
My growing boy is growing. I don’t think he is ever full anymore. He ate cereal, then he ate more cereal with his two sausage pancake dogs, and he requested hotdogs, biscuits, pancakes, and chicken sticks, and finally settled on wanting more shrimp all before we got ready for church.
I fixed my breakfast and I had him try my cheese grits. He ate the tiniest of bites in the way he does but he then ate two spoonfuls. That’s a big step into putting a new food into the mix. I’ve tried them many times before with him and it was always a no but today it was a yes. A tiny yes but nonetheless a yes.
When we got to church Owen wanted to see his favorite people. We got on the elevator and he went through the phrases that he had learned from our conversations. As the doors opened he said, “I hope so” when he asked one more time if his friends would be there. One of them was and he was elated.
After church, he was ready to go to grandma’s house. He wanted his lunch from grandma like it was his Saturday so off we went. He wanted his turkey.
I talk to him about why we like things or people. I want him to understand that people’s actions help us like them. Like if someone is kind to us or how they make us feel. I always tell him he is amazing. I am trying to get him to make that connection and find the words to describe the people he loves. I said, “I love you because you are” and he said, “Amazing I’m amazing.” This is what matters.
He had a great time at grandma’s house and the rest of the night flew by. He played his harmonica and talked about music therapy tomorrow. He had his tablet on a bowling video and was doing the Wii bowling. Bedtime was quick and I’m praying he sleeps tonight. He is ready for his tomorrow.
Life is real, raw, and emotional but the connections with our family and friends are what hold us together. Owen’s laughter, hugs, and smiles are the best. Let your smile shine bright and laugh until your heart is content. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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