Pass through Monday

Sometimes it’s all about my emotions. A lot of times it’s all about my emotions. Most of the time it’s about how I deal with all of the emotions. And today I cried a lot. Owen’s made some incredible progress, absolutely incredible progress, but it’s still hard, it’s still emotional, very, very emotional, very. He slept all night again. He woke up early but he was on a mission. He knew he didn’t want to miss seeing grandma again. He woke knowing we were going to breakfast with grandma and then her house. He got about an inch from my nose and said, “tablet.” I wasn’t really awake. He tried again. “Tablet” and then he quickly added “grandma.” He was calm this morning but very distracted. He kept talking about going to see grandma but then said, “just a minute.” I asked him if he wanted to go or if he wanted to stay home. He wanted to go. We got ready and out the door, we went. The restaurant was busy. This didn’t go over so well with Owen. He is used to being able to sit right away. He was also focused on what the world was wearing and they all weren’t wearing blue pants. I breathe. I counted with him, I counted more with him, and I told him to breathe. It’s emotional and exhausting. I’m always on pins and needles. I never know how he is going to react or what is going to upset him. I am always trying to stay ten steps ahead of what can upset him. Thankfully they had a table quicker than they predicted and we ordered. He ate pretty well but it seems like since we were sick neither one of us has completely gotten our appetite back. He called the manager one of the people he watched on YouTube. I wasn’t sure at first what he was saying but he did look a lot like him. When we were finished they were going to take our plates and we asked them to leave them because we didn’t want to upset Owen. Thankfully all went pretty well with it and he was off to grandma’s house. He knew he was going to his eye therapy today so he decided he wanted to go to the “little Donald’s and little park” to ride his bike. When they left he saw their tiny bike and he wanted to take it. They went to McDonald’s and then we met at the park. He wanted to ride the little bike but really what that meant was for him to sit on it and then say “oops it fell” and down it went. He loves dropping his bike to the ground. I’m not quite sure why but he loves doing it. Sometimes he dramatically falls with it. And lays right next to it. “Doesn’t have enough horns,” he said, talking about his little bike. I told him that I got his new bike a horn when we get it. Before we even left he was plotting to see grandma tomorrow since there is a teacher planning day. He has a therapy appointment so he might get to spend some time with her again tomorrow if we time it right. He did great at his vision therapy appointment even though he likes to talk about his tablet and seeing her next week before he even finished today’s appointment. When we got home he didn’t want much for dinner but he is back to requesting veggie straws. His new old thing is to throw his veggie straws on the ground and then pick them up to eat them over and over. Not sure how this began, why it’s resurfaced, and why it’s a thing but here we are. “Squeeze an orange,” he said and told me to get some oranges so he could squeeze them. I’m not sure where this came from either. I’m thankful for his progress. It’s an emotional journey but his progress is phenomenal. Your nerves shake waiting for the emotions to happen. Praying they don’t. And today was one of those days. I held on to my emotions but they were right there ready to tumble out. Our journey is not always easy to explain but the love sure is. Do we all dream of being successful or just making it? Success comes from showing your inner strength, sharing your kindness with a friend or foe, and knowing that you can make a difference in the world even if it smiling at someone to make their day. Smiles to all and donut daze!