It wasn’t even five and I had gotten my first cup of coffee. He slept through it. Since I woke so early I tried to let him sleep a little longer. My second cup I made a lot more noise and from his bed, I heard “school school.” He is afraid he is not going to get to go to school again. His anxiousness is in full swing since he missed so many days of his routine last week.
After I got my coffee Owen grabbed his tablet and came to sit with me. He was concentrating on making sure all his days ahead were in order and going to happen. It is so hard on him when one thing changes from his routine.
When got dressed and went out to wait for the bus. He started talking to me about his day again. He asked me when the bus was going to get there and then he started listing things that we had to throw away. “Black shoes purple tablet gorilla tablet,” started the list. He went on. They were all things from two or more years ago. My shoes had a hole in them so I threw them away. The purple tablet was a cover that he chewed through and the same with the gorilla cover. The other random things were all thrown away for one reason or another but he remembered them all. His mind does not forget a thing.
Change is not easy for him. He has a new teacher and he seems to be handling it well but I’m sure it is also part of his need to make sure everything is in order.
He told me this morning he needed a haircut. I found that fascinating. He is making huge strides.
I picked him up from school. Before we could even get to the car he was talking about Friday and Saturday. His schedule was all he thought about the rest of the day.
He did pretty well at therapy but was highly elevated when we left. He wanted to go to burger boy but I did not come home the way he wanted. The ripple effects of his meltdown lasted all night. It was one of the biggest ones he has had in quite some time. The crying pierces my heart. He pulled my hair and pushed me. My heart aches for him. How can something like my turning instead of going straight cause hours of tears and emotions?
I talked to his therapists about exercises that help with anxiety. They thought it would be a good idea for him. They are going to work on what input they think will help him and then work on teaching the exercises to me so I can help him at home.
All night he was making sure that he would be on his bus tomorrow and he wanted to confirm Saturday with his grandma. He was mad when we got home he didn’t go to the park. I asked him when we left therapy and he only wanted to go see the burger boy statue. I think the meltdown was extremely hard on him.
I dream of a day where he is calmer in moments and meltdowns are not so hard on him. I pray for calm for him. I pray I can continue to find new ways to help him. I never imagined that turning down a street would cause so many emotions but that’s what it does.
I hold onto his smile and his laughter when I tickled his feet as he was trying to put his socks on this morning. That’s what gets me through our days. Let a smile turn into your ray of sunshine and then in turn share it with the world. Smiles to all and donut daze!