To say, my child amazes me is an understatement. However, you would think that I was used to this, but I’m not he still amazes me constantly, and today was like no other. Some days my walking and talking are more like sitting and staying. It feels like I’m in slow motion some days even though I’m doing tons of things. Owen got in bed with me at some point but thankfully went back to sleep. I’m not sure if it was something else outside that woke him or if he just woke and came to me. As soon as I got out of bed to go to the bathroom, he immediately started saying, “white bed white bed.” It’s hard for him to process that I’m getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. There are days that he will scream at me if I try to go to the bathroom at any point during the day. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions and it changes constantly but can also stay the same. Something that I thought was gone will come back in the middle of a day or a moment in time totally out of the blue and here it is again. He then cycles through this behavior until it’s gone, and then it comes back again. The morning went quickly and then we went to wait for the bus. His vocabulary is constantly increasing. I’m thankful for those words and his communication skills. I told him that tomorrow we would be going to a doctor’s appointment for him and he immediately was concerned about going to school. I told him that he would go to the doctor first and then he would go to school later. This was still a concern for him, and when he came home from school, it continued to be a concern for him all through the night. He asked me numerous times when he was going to go to school and when he was going to go to his appointment. He was not pleased that I said he was going to go to the doctor first and then to school. He reiterated several times that he wanted to go to school first and then to the doctor's appointment. I told him that our appointment was the first one in the morning and then I would take him to school. As I was thinking and saying something out loud I mentioned again about him being late to school and he got really upset. He wanted to know the order again and then when I said it, he wanted to make sure he was going to get back to school to see his friends and go to lunch so he could eat chicken. This is hard and emotional because he has rules and emotions attached to this. I don’t want to make it harder on him, but we also can’t just do his everyday routine every day. He spent a lot of time downloading apps that he hadn’t used in years. He knew the long picture card password from years ago. It was pictured he had to get in order. I don’t know why I’m amazed but I was completely amazed at how well he did with this. The nighttime sped by. Tonight’s prayer was “dear God thank you Amen.” I let him say what’s on his heart. When we talk about prayer, I let him know that it’s about his emotions and his thankfulness or what he wants to talk about with God. I told him God understands that he is a miracle and he can talk about anything. He fell asleep quicker than most nights. I know he was very concerned with his tomorrow and what the order would be. It’s hard to explain how routine is only routine until it’s not. This is a constantly changing momentum and going to the doctor is not something unusual but for him is not routine. Thankfully, he does love going to see his different doctors. It’s just a matter of why and when and how we’re going to get back to his classroom. I’m thankful the connections are forming and I’m proud that he has come so far. Today is the first step to the rest of your life. Miracles don’t always happen overnight, and that one precise moment is the gift in this journey that gets you through all its challenges that make the victories become that much sweeter. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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