We were up early once again, having the one bathroom causes one of the many interruptions in our nights but Owen woke with a calm surrounding him even though the words came back like water creating a waterfall that never stops.
He was ready for church, school, and therapy. He also very much wanted to go to yoga. I explained we weren’t going today but again soon. I can tell he likes yoga. I am focused on the calm it will create for us or I pray that it will create for us.
Some days I just want quiet. He stands outside the bathroom waiting for me to finish. No longer can I take a shower at 2 o’clock in the morning and let him sleep. At least now I can take them during the day without him screaming at me but that leads to an impatience that is also unexplainable.
He followed most of my instructions again for us to get ready for church. I told him to make sure he put his left shoe on his left foot and his right shoe on his right foot. Those instructions weren’t followed the first time but all I had to do was say left foot and he immediately changed them. Victory was had but I still feel sad. Maybe he wants to wear them like that, maybe we put the constraints on how we always wear our shoes, and maybe I overthink this one thing way too much.
On the way to church, we talked about him wanting his best friend to go to church with him, my heart still breaking and praying that one day it will happen. We also talked about going fishing. He said, “Go in the water.” I tried to explain that in general, we don’t swim at the same time we fish but that is muddy waters for so many reasons. I explained that you fish off the shore or sit in a boat. He said, “Let’s go in a boat.” I told him we don’t have a boat but maybe we can go in one day. He said, “order it.” I think he is getting how that works but he doesn’t completely understand the limits of ordering something.
We came home to eat our lunch and when he generally comes home he changes his clothes. He left them on so I knew he was serious about going fishing. When we finished our lunch we left. He kept telling me to find a boat and talking about wading in the water which I thought was incredible but was not going to encourage it because I knew he would be all the way in.
He did absolutely amazing with fishing and didn’t attempt to get in the water once even though he wanted to. Every time I asked him if he was ready to leave he said no and “thirty more throws.” He helped me cast and he reeled it in. I’m extremely proud of how well he did. He told me he wanted to go again on Tuesday so we may have found his new sport.
We don’t think we are strong enough to handle something but we can learn and grow in those moments. Look at how much Owen has grown. It’s not for us to question everything even though I seem to, it’s for us to make a better life for ourselves and for the ones we love. Be strong and make your life exactly what you want. Smiles to all and donut daze!
He was ready for church, school, and therapy. He also very much wanted to go to yoga. I explained we weren’t going today but again soon. I can tell he likes yoga. I am focused on the calm it will create for us or I pray that it will create for us.
Some days I just want quiet. He stands outside the bathroom waiting for me to finish. No longer can I take a shower at 2 o’clock in the morning and let him sleep. At least now I can take them during the day without him screaming at me but that leads to an impatience that is also unexplainable.
He followed most of my instructions again for us to get ready for church. I told him to make sure he put his left shoe on his left foot and his right shoe on his right foot. Those instructions weren’t followed the first time but all I had to do was say left foot and he immediately changed them. Victory was had but I still feel sad. Maybe he wants to wear them like that, maybe we put the constraints on how we always wear our shoes, and maybe I overthink this one thing way too much.
On the way to church, we talked about him wanting his best friend to go to church with him, my heart still breaking and praying that one day it will happen. We also talked about going fishing. He said, “Go in the water.” I tried to explain that in general, we don’t swim at the same time we fish but that is muddy waters for so many reasons. I explained that you fish off the shore or sit in a boat. He said, “Let’s go in a boat.” I told him we don’t have a boat but maybe we can go in one day. He said, “order it.” I think he is getting how that works but he doesn’t completely understand the limits of ordering something.
We came home to eat our lunch and when he generally comes home he changes his clothes. He left them on so I knew he was serious about going fishing. When we finished our lunch we left. He kept telling me to find a boat and talking about wading in the water which I thought was incredible but was not going to encourage it because I knew he would be all the way in.
He did absolutely amazing with fishing and didn’t attempt to get in the water once even though he wanted to. Every time I asked him if he was ready to leave he said no and “thirty more throws.” He helped me cast and he reeled it in. I’m extremely proud of how well he did. He told me he wanted to go again on Tuesday so we may have found his new sport.
We don’t think we are strong enough to handle something but we can learn and grow in those moments. Look at how much Owen has grown. It’s not for us to question everything even though I seem to, it’s for us to make a better life for ourselves and for the ones we love. Be strong and make your life exactly what you want. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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