I stood in church not really knowing how I was standing. Some days the emotions feel like the weight sitting on my shoulders is heavier than the weight I carry in my heart. The words of the song washed over me and it was like the weight was lifted and the words were holding me up. I didn’t sleep much at all last night. I guess I kept thinking Owen would wake up. I knew he generally sleeps later on Sundays but I still thought I heard him numerous times. He slept until after six and I was thankful. We had a great morning. We were going to church early so that I could go to one of the group classes. We got out to the car and it wouldn’t start. This upset Owen greatly. The screaming and crying started instantly. I knew it would. He couldn’t process it. I had service done on my car recently and they upgraded several features and had a few recalls. At first, I thought maybe my key wasn’t working properly so we had to go inside to get my other one. This upset him even more but he walked inside with me. The emotions from him go straight to my heart because I understand it’s hard for him to understand what is happening. We went back to the car and I sat for a minute, knowing there had to be a solution. The steering wheel was extremely tight. I figured it had to do with the antitheft device. I had to move my steering wheel and key at the same time plus do the Hokey Pokey while Owen was screaming. It worked and we were off. The tumbleweeds already started to tumble. He did great once we left and we got to church but it added a little momentum to the day. Then when we left church he thought too many people wanted to talk to us and that started our next tumbleweed. The trip home was his emotions amplified. He talked to me about everything he wanted to do and everything that was happening around him but it was making him very anxious. His words sometimes in circles and sometimes as clear as day about nothing that was happening right that moment but completely fit. “Yes it’s a great idea,” he said and I wondered where that gem came from. He talked to me about the light that is broken. For months every time I sat at the light with him, I thought he meant it was broken because we were having to sit at it but then one day I realized the actual case around the light was broken. This upsets him greatly and I can’t even imagine the emotions he goes through because of it. The rest of the night I tried to help him stay calm. The calmer I can keep him the more I get to hear his beautiful laughter. We played games and ate dinner. Sleep happened fast and I pray he sleeps all night. I’m thankful for his smile that lights up my world. Our emotions create our own stories but those stories are the beautiful melody of life even when they feel out of tune they still need to be sung. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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