“Where grief dogs lie” runs through my head repeatedly. I don’t know why I started saying that after my brother died but maybe it has something to do with him losing his dog right around the same time. Grief is a beast. Grief hits you when expectations are not what they are supposed to be or what you think they should be. Grief hits me in the summer when I know I’m going to wake up with Owen struggling with the lack of routine. He’s starting to figure out how the months are used but it’s strictly all stored in his mind. He doesn’t want to see it in black and white. I have tried countless ways to show him a calendar and any other type of way to show a schedule but they all still upset him. The only way that doesn’t is him memorizing it but this doesn’t keep him from repeating it constantly. One day I will find the best way for him but for now, he has memorized everything. I wonder how to teach him to say what’s right and continue to have a vivid imagination. He purposely says the opposite of something to get attention and then there are times he struggles with what is the right answer and will also say the wrong answer. I don’t want him to stop showing and expressing his creativity so it is hard to correct this behavior. I asked him if he wanted a cheese tortilla for lunch. He said he didn’t want a cheetah, “no cheetah today.” I haven’t decided if this is him combining words or thinking it’s what I said. His vocabulary is still growing but I know there are words he jokes with as well. We went to his vision therapy and he brought his tablet in the car. It ran out of battery. He said, “it doesn’t have enough juice or cheese.” He laughed like he had been working on that joke for a while. He cracks me up with his words and thought process. He is so funny and brilliant. I don’t even know if he realizes how brilliant he is. He did great at therapy and we came home with a few bumps in the road but he was happy once we got inside. He has it in his mind how the drive should go and that doesn’t always happen. The night flew by and he wanted to continue to talk about when school was happening and the fact that he didn’t want to do anything tomorrow so we shall see. I’m thankful for his big smile and that laughter. I’m praying for a better night's sleep and for him not to wake up at threeish again. Believe in the hope for tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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