I could feel the anticipation from Owen when he walked around the corner. It was still dark but I could sense what was about to happen. He had slept until after five and he was very calm as he approached me. I had gotten up a little earlier and settled back in with my first cup of coffee. “The eighteenth,” he said very calmly. Not “good morning mommy,” not “one hug,” but “the eighteenth” with a question mark dangling there somewhere. He wanted me to say he was going to school or confirming he wasn’t. Those mixed moments of trying to decide if his dream was coming true or if it was still one month away sat waiting for me to answer. I answered him. I explained again that it was July eighteenth and not August eighteenth. He hugged me and slowly walked away. I know it is all so much for him to process. One month and he starts school again. He knows the month and day but still, it’s hard. Tuesdays, the day of the week I want to accomplish all the things but seems to be the heaviest for me. At some point, my mind realized Owen, like all of us, will get emotional when he gets emotional. But the screaming gets me. I can only imagine what it feels like to him when we go to someplace he has never been before. The rollercoaster ride continues. He was calm this morning so I kept him calm. I asked him a couple of times if he wanted to go somewhere and he said no. I didn’t push it. I wanted the day to keep calm. We played a lot of games and he wanted to give me “one hug” a lot throughout the day. He’s asking Siri and Alexa to translate words again. He has dueling tablets going with them both pulling up different languages. I dream about the day he will be able to tell me all the languages he knows. He ate a lot today and asked for even more. I’m hoping I can convince him to go do things tomorrow. We’ve had a lot of storms so that is also hard for me to take him out when I know it’s going to rain since the rain causes huge meltdowns for him. I hope for no storms tomorrow. Slept came quickly for him and I pray for a great night. I’m thankful for the days ahead and only one more until he is back to school. His smile is what I cling to and his heart full of laughter makes our world shine. I wish peace could find us all. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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