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Grip Sunday

6/4/2023

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I cried because there was a tissue box in the trash. The day started out joyous though. I woke up a little after five. I tried to be quiet but Owen heard me. And then all I heard was “no” and he was out again. He slept until almost seven. Technically anything after six is close enough to seven for me. He wasn’t facing the day right away. He bypassed the bathroom and me and went straight to the couch. He forgets that the bathroom should come first and then our hellos but most of the time that consists of him saying “tablet.” He was calm during the morning but I could tell that it was going to be one of those mornings when it was hard for him to process getting ready to go to church. Setting the timer has been helping with the questions of when are we going but he still has days where he wants to leave but he can’t stop doing the activities he wants to do to actually leave. It also has to do with part of the visual confirmation he needs to have everything in his order. He wanted me to sit in the “white bed” so that he could run back and forth to his computer and anytime I got up this would disturb the process. I made sure he kept looking at the timer so that would help him and we finally got out the door. I never realized how much my stuff can cause chaos for our days. He needs things to be in a certain place and then when he wants something and it’s not there it can cause him to scream. These items don’t even have to be something that is his but he needs them to be there. The same goes for items that he doesn’t want to see. He wants the world to wear blue pants but the second I put a pair of jeans on my bed he is screaming to throw them in the trash. My mind spins from all the rules and chaos, the rules I’m supposed to remember to prevent the chaos and meltdowns it causes. I never imagined the tears I would shed over blue pants on my bed and not to mention in the world. I can only imagine how hard it is on Owen. Thankfully he at least in general is no longer crying over them. When we got to church we all learned how loose Owen’s tooth is. I am honestly shocked he didn’t get it out today and I will be surprised if it is not my two o’clock in the morning surprise again. I’m prepared this time to give him his lollipop and coin from the “pirate tooth fairy.” When we left church he rode his bike all around the parking lot and then he realized we have a bike park at church. Thankfully I convinced him it was closed today because it’s a little more expert level than he is at. He said, “when it’s open” which is always his reply when he wants to do something and can’t. I have a feeling I won’t be able to use that line much longer. We got home after getting our lunch, driving by the “green stop sign” which is a red stop sign, driving by the “red stop sign” which is also a red stop sign, and his beloved windows. The rest of the afternoon was filled with lots of questions about the week ahead and talking about his bath. This is when I found the tissue box Owen threw in the trash. A new box with only a couple gone that he then put the used ones in and threw away. At least he threw them away. I hold onto the victories. My favorite moment was when he was watching the Little Einsteins and he said, “this is Peter Peter Tchaikovsky.” He laughed so hard and said it again only this time he told me “Peter knows music.” The way he said it was amazing and the laughing snickers were the best. My sweet baby O loves music and for that I’m thankful. Let the melody of life fill your soul with the song it needs to bring you joy. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

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