Sleep happened at some point and Owen was all cozy under his big fuzzy blanket. The struggle for him to fall asleep on Fridays is something I wish I could figure out. It’s not every Friday but most of them. I get his excitement for his Saturdays and the days ahead but I have to find a way to refocus the endgame. I get so stuck in trying to not rock the boat I don’t know when the boat can be rocked and it be fine. I always say autism is as much about how I handle it as it is about Owen having it. I don’t always have the answers but the stress of never knowing when he is going to scream or have a meltdown keeps me rooted to the ground some days. I pray for answers and calm all the time. I was thankful Owen slept until five. I thought for sure he would wake up in the middle of the night but he slept. Thankfully the morning was calm. The jumping is constant now. It is like he has cycled back through it. There are times when his focus is different or he has different sensory input needs and right now it is jumping. He asked every few minutes when we were going to grandma’s house. I had set the timer but he asked even though he kept looking at it. We got ready and left for grandma’s house. He wanted to go by all of his favorite things but I tried to explain then he wouldn’t be going to grandma’s house. We got there and he had a nice time. When I picked him up he said he wanted grandma to take him to the “little Donald’s” and then he wanted to go ride his bike. He rode with his grandma and then they came to meet me at the park. He told his grandma he was not going to ride his bike. He was upset because she didn’t turn the way he wanted her to. These emotions come quick and change often. I put his bike back in the car and he left with his grandma to drive back to her house the way he wanted. I picked him up from there in a few minutes. He wanted to go many places but I told him we were going straight home. I told him that if he screamed at me on the way home or told me where to go he would not have his tablet. It was a chore and it took redirecting him many times but we got home. So on the way home, he said, “do you understand me” and I said, “yes I do.” I said, “what do we say to each other when we have extra emotions and scream at people?” He said, “sorry mommy.” I said, “there is someone else you need to tell that to” and he said, “sorry grandma.” The meltdowns stick with you like food sticks to your ribs. I have to work through this with him when he is calm and can process it because otherwise, it doesn’t help either one of us. He was fine once he got home and he ate all of his dinner. Plus he asked me for veggie chips so he could dip them in the honey mustard. He was asleep extremely quickly. I’m hoping that tonight is a good night for sleep. He’s ready for church tomorrow and he wants to ride his bike. He is learning and growing and for that I am thankful. Be kind to your soul and give yourself grace. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.