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In Wednesday

6/28/2023

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The sleep train keeps on coming. Thankfully, Owen has been sleeping much better than he was and I am sleeping sorta kinda. I heard him go to the bathroom, and then he got his tablet. I had been up for almost an hour and thankfully I was quiet. I came to him to say good morning. Instead of saying good morning he started talking about his tablet and I reminded him that he should say good morning first. I try to work through conversations with him so he understands it more. I also explain to him that he can use his words. Once he said, good morning, then I started talking to him about what was on his tablet and he started talking to me about getting coffee. He was bright-eyed this morning and full of energy. He was also anxious about all the days ahead. Routine absolutely means everything to him and having routine helps him keep everything straight. When things change it is hard for him to understand. It is also hard to explain to him that the only thing that is ever consistent is change. I wish he could go to school five days a week all year long but I know it is good for him to have breaks as well. We got ready and went outside. He kept asking to walk to his old bus stop. I told him we didn’t have to walk there anymore, which he already knew, but still wanted to say. He will repeat facts like that and then sometimes if I say the same thing as him he will then get upset because he knows it is wrong. I get trapped in the moment though, because he will repeat the same thing over and over again and wants me to constantly repeat with him but that’s hard and that’s not something that helps him move forward. I also have to be aware of his emotions in the moment because that can also throw him into a meltdown. It’s a fine line of when do I stop reacting to his emotions to get him through something or do I continue to help him and repeat something so that he also can get through different emotions. And then I breathe I don’t always have the answers but love gets us through it. I don’t know how to always react, and I’m not sure what I should do in certain moments. Then there’s sometimes when you are just reacting in that second and you are distracted with something else but he’s still needing attention or wanting my attention and I still don’t always answer the way he thinks I should. The bus came to get him and he was off to school. When he came home from school, I could tell he was anxious. I didn’t even attempt to see if he wanted to go someplace. He was focused on all of the days ahead and he would repeat what was happening on each day. When it came to talking about Monday, he knows he’s not going back to school, that summer school is over but he wants to continue to ask about seeing his teacher on Monday. This is when the emotions are hard he knows he’s not going back to school until August, but he wants to continuously bring it back up so that he has that reassurance that he is not going to school on Monday. He was excited that the book he requested came in. He read his book for me, and he also played his ukulele and sang several songs. I’m excited about how much he loves music and instruments. He is teaching himself how to play. It’s mostly by ear and just playing some of the notes. I completely believe he will be able to play the instruments as he grows older. He is getting good at the harmonica, and I can only imagine what he’ll be like in the next few years. Music has always meant so much to me even though I don’t play or sing I know it is amazing for our soul. He ate a pretty good dinner and was calm for the rest of the night. Bedtime came surprisingly quickly, and once he actually got in bed he then stayed there,.I think he was pretty tired and he’s ready for his tomorrow. He can’t wait to get to therapy and he knows that I will be picking him up from school. Seeing his bright blue eyes light up when he read the book he requested makes my day and fills my heart with gladness. Find your victories in the little things because the little things will lead to your greatest rewards. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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    I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.

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