“Happy”, Owen said to me from the living room. It’s amazing how he’s paying attention to me but watching tv and playing on his tablet all at the same time. How on earth can the day be so incredibly happy and sadness wash over me every time I turn around. I had started to cry again when he heard me he then yelled, “happy”. He was ready for school this morning. He walked to the bus with a pep in his step. And when that bus came around the corner it was pure joy to watch the smile spread across his face. He can’t wait to go back to school. He asked since the moment he got home about going tomorrow. His teacher sent me a note home that said he had a great day. I know he will thrive with this new year. I also know that the bus is going to be extremely hard on him. The morning one not as much because he is going to school but the afternoon bus goes in different directions depending on the day of the week. He screamed when he got home. But he was also ready to go to the park with his friend. We had a snack and then got ready to go. I cried in the car thinking about everything. How do I even explain it when I don’t even understand what there is to explain. It’s all just hard. We will see how the rest of the week goes for him. It’s only the first day back to school I remind myself. Everything is new even though it is routine as well. We had fun at the park with our friends and he actually seemed to enjoy it. Sometimes it feels like he is going through the motions more than he is enjoying the activities. Tomorrow after school he has therapy and that will bring more routine to our day. I have to remember to keep moving forward. When we came home from the park he told me all the directions I was going but he still squealed and cried when I turned on several of the roads. But as soon as we got home he was fine. Some days it’s like he is processing it and other days it is more like he is going through the motions of how he is supposed to respond. He says my words right back to me, “I’m going right at the building the one with the words”. I pray for another great day in school and a better ride home. I pray for peace and comfort for all when the world seems to be hurting. My happiness wins today because I hold that huge smile he had on his face as he boarded the bus. Keep looking forward and find what makes your heart soar. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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