I got up from the table to get the request “turkey veggie straw milk pwease”, taking my glass with me. It left water on the table. Owen immediately jumped up from his seat screaming about “de mess”, putting his hands in the water, and it quickly turned to squealing. This is the first time he’s had a reaction quite like this when the table was a mess. If you looked at the table you would see pieces of veggie straw and turkey all over it, for that matter on the floor too, but for some reason, liquid spills equal quick meltdowns for him. Generally, it’s when he gets milk on his tablet, so I’m praying this is not the start of something with water on the table. He loves water. He never wants to get out of the tub when he takes a bath, but water still upsets him when it is on something else. I keep thinking about Owen going back to school. We meet his new teacher on Thursday and pick up his iPad. You can pay a damage fee on the iPad in case anything happens to it. Tears well in my eyes thinking about all the possibilities with that. He has an iPad at home. He also has a cover on it that’s been chewed through and it’s one of those incredibly strong covers. He throws it and it’s been wet more times than I can count for more reasons than I want to think about. I stood in the living room, grabbing my hair and resting it on the top of my head. I prayed out to God in my own mind, don’t they know my child will chew through this tablet, and before I could say another word Owen was behind me trying to climb up to my arms so he could pull my hair down. I stood crying. “It’s my hair”, I wanted to scream, but it doesn’t matter, he needs me to have my hair down. He has to see the picture of me, some days more than others, and that includes my hair being down. I’ve prayed all day. I long for his routine, I long for comfort for my son, I long for comfort to my own soul. I told him I loved him as many times as I could, trying to bring comfort to both of us. And all I want to do is eat cake. All the cake. It’s okay to feel the emotions, be emotional, sit, and rest in the moment. Through challenges, we grow, even if they seem impossible at the moment. Find your strength and know tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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