Somewhere down this road I have changed the lyrics to the song, but I always sing with Owen “I see the moon the moon sees me God bless you and God bless me”. Long time ago my momma sang it to me when I was little; maybe that’s how she taught it to me, or I changed it along the way. We walked to the bus stop, me holding his hand through his jacket. The moon was bright this morning. I kept asking him to look up at the moon. He was focused on the upcoming days, repeating the same few phrases over, and over again, but even if he wasn’t focused on the phrases he wouldn’t look up at the moon. He has a hard time with directions, and commands with directions. If I point with my finger at an object, and say, “bring me that”, he can’t do it. His sight line doesn’t follow the imaginary line that I have created with my point. He will run around the room trying to pick up objects to make me happy. He gets a little squeal in his throat as he does it, the impatience washing over him; as if he is doing something wrong, or I’m wanting the impossible. The swimming tears in my eyes I’m trying to hold back with a sip of my hot tea. It’s a struggle for my baby, and it’s a struggle for this momma, too. I often wonder how many concepts can we work on in one day. When we stood at the bus stop, I tried again. “Look up at the moon”, I said. He started singing our song; he had one eye covered with his hand, and the other eye squinted as tight as possible, no looking towards the moon. I asked him to take a picture with me; his eyes were closed, but he smiled, sort of. “De bus is comin”, he said; and almost on cue it turned the corner, many blocks away. The closer it got, the happier he got. He still had one eye covered, and he moved his other hand up towards his face. He did a little squeak sound, and his arms started flapping, like a bird taking flight. He then started moving his feet, jumping the tiniest of jumps. If everyone could feel this much joy in something, the world would be a better place. The bus took my baby away, and I stood there with tears in my eyes. His happiness for those few moments carry me through my day. Find something that lights up your world. Live to love, and love what is around you. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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