I’m not sure why Owen woke up very, very early but he did. He was nose to nose with me saying “tablet tablet” before I could even process it all. I told him it wasn’t time to get up yet and he could get in bed with me or go back to his bed. He got into bed with me and wanted me to hold him. This is when everything matters to him. He needs me to hold him just perfectly and I have to be in a specific spot and the list goes on but the hard part is he wakes up extremely easily. I got up to go to the bathroom, thinking he was asleep. As soon as my feet hit the ground his screams started. I thought he was asleep, I really thought he was asleep. He yelled, “white bed” as I was heading to the bathroom. He screamed louder. This is where the rollercoaster takes off way too fast for its morning start. I needed to calm him and go to the bathroom quickly. I told him I was coming right back. He said, “white bed” again wanting me to lay back down. I told him if I didn’t go to the bathroom then it was going to be a huge problem. I need him to understand that bodily functions happen and we have to react to them, without screams. It really wasn’t that I was going to the bathroom but more about me getting out of bed and not holding him. I keep thinking about how thankful I am that doesn’t happen every night anymore. He lay with me for another thirty minutes or so and then the tablet request started again. The inch from my nose thing with pulling of my hair always gets me. I think there is a rule about not getting something if you do certain behaviors but I can tell you all rules fly off the rollercoaster when your eyes can barely stay open. Off he ran to the blue bed as happy as a lark. Once it was time to officially get up he came back to the white bed after the whole bathroom, coffee, light switch thing happened. When we got out to wait for the bus I was trying to distract him by asking him questions. He was very focused on where the bus was and that it was now March. I asked him to name all the planets and he quickly rattled them off and told me “earth sends rockets.” I’m always amazed at how much he knows. When he came home from school he had one thing on his mind, the week ahead. “Mommy picking me up on Thursday” was one of the first things he said when he got off the bus. We were going to the little park so he could ride his bike but he didn’t want to do anything. It is hard to change his mind when routine means everything to him. He wanted me to change into a “dress” which is my nightgown but instead, I put on “black peddle pushers.” He was not happy about this but he didn’t scream so that was huge. All night he kept saying “wear dress next time.” He couldn’t get over that I wasn’t wearing what he thinks I’m supposed to but I need him to understand I can make choices. Every time he said something I talked to him about his choices of what he wanted to wear a night, going through shorts, pajama pants, and Spider-Man pajamas. When I said he would only repeat “no no.” I could see he was processing it though. I was getting Owen some milk and I told him he would be eleven this month and as soon as the words came out of my mouth. I started crying. I thought about my brother and how excited he was when Owen was born. He came to be with me on that day and the laughter was exactly what I needed. He kept telling me that I looked like I was carrying a beach ball. He was so proud of his nephew. I miss him. Owen ate a huge dinner and then was ready for bed. I’m praying he sleeps all night and is ready for his favorite day tomorrow. I’m thankful for his smile. Life can be full of challenges but look at your victories throughout the day and know that they are important. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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