Giant steps forward sometimes take years to make. And that’s ok. Owen’s words are not always the only ones that are hard to form. I too get caught up in what I’m trying to say or accomplish. Today was one of those days and these moments were entwined with his. Once he goes to sleep he’s been mostly sleeping better and waking in a good mood. He was ready for me to get my coffee and into the pillow filled white bed we went except for one little problem the stuffed octopus I had on my bed. I guess he usually doesn’t pay attention to it since it is generally with the pillows on the other side of the bed but his extra energy toppled the pillows over and the octopus then became a big deal. He wanted it hidden. He was not taking no for an answer. I try to explain that it’s my bed so I can have anything I want on it. This went over about as well as when I have laundry on my bed. Under the pillows, the octopus went and calm was restored. These are the moments I just have to breathe and let it go. He did great again about getting ready. I’ve made a few slight adjustments to the order we do things and this really has helped us. I try to give him two minutes with his tablet before we have to go outside to the bus and it seems to calm him. This morning he was playing with his sled app and he said, “go outside after finish the sled.” Generally, he says when he finishes the game so I like how he adapted his words. I love to see growth and he was shining bright this morning. “Go O go O,” he yelled out as he was running back and forth on our sidewalk waiting for the bus. It was a beautiful sight to see. He was also trying to skip or something similar. He doesn’t usually try to do these movements on his own without being prompted. I had to make sure he didn’t run too far before turning around. I wouldn’t be able to catch him so I always emphasize to him how important it is for him to stop when I tell him to. He was excited to see the bus come around the corner and off he went wearing his glasses and I wondered if they would stay on all day. He told me he wanted to see the depot when he got home so I told him we could and I wondered if he would still want to go when he got home. Today was a rough day for me. Losing my brother is one of the hardest things I’ve ever walked through. Some days it feels like quicksand is under my feet with every step. The tears beat up my soul today and I needed all those emotions released. When Owen got home he was ready for his glasses to be off and to get in the car to see the depot. I told him he could take his glasses off when we came back and he put them right back on. He had a “quick snack” using my words and we were off. I’m not sure why he loves driving by all the buildings so much but we made several “one more time” passes around the depot and the houses near the train tracks before heading home. He was happy and that’s what matters. He got out of bed to tell me how he checks in on Thursdays at his therapy appointments, what he says, and what they do. He got out of bed at least five times. It seems like the new routine but trying to keep him from getting up isn’t working yet however he is still sleeping pretty well through the night. I’m thankful for his growth and that smile that gets me through the rough patches in my day. Dream what some might say is the impossible dream and make it possible. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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