Thankfully Owen slept much better last night than he has the last couple of nights. He woke once he heard me in the kitchen and went directly to the bathroom. He gave me time to get my coffee before he rushed me to sit with him. Calm mornings are the best, although I think I woke up cranky. Or maybe it increased throughout the day. We were getting ready to go wait for his bus and he started talking about tomorrow. I’m trying to keep him focused on the day we are on. He gets stuck talking about the days ahead and doesn’t concentrate on the moments we have together. I want him to understand that he can look forward to activities in the future but he is missing out on the activities that he is doing because he is so far ahead on his days. He will say, “and then” when he wants to know what’s next. Calendars, daily schedules, or any other type of activity tracker have been met with the same results. He is at least allowing me to keep a calendar on the refrigerator now without taking it down but I can’t put anything on it that shows him what’s on the days ahead. We are making progress though. When we went outside he wanted to ask about Saturday again but before I could say anything else he said, “focus on Friday.” I know it is all so much for him to comprehend. It seems like he is constantly thinking and rethinking everything. He was emotional when he got home and before I could even try to convince him to go anywhere he had his clothes off, wanted a bath, and was ready to discuss when he was going to see grandma. That was that. The night was full of his emotions and mine. He screamed a lot. I tried to keep him focused on our night but he was ready to go to sleep so he could go to grandma’s house and play on her computer. The thing is for most of the afternoon he played on his computer. I was thankful he ate a huge dinner tonight and it wasn’t hard to convince him it was bedtime because that meant grandma time was getting closer. The drain of the tub was clogged once again and not letting any of the water out. It felt like the one more thing I didn’t need today. It was like all the tears that fell from my face were staring right back at me. Sometimes it’s dealing with the actions and reactions that are hard. I remind Owen all the time that we are a team and in this together. We said our prayers before he fell asleep and he said, “I love you.” That’s what matters most. Our journey is not always easy to explain but the love sure is. Find what makes your heart happy and your smile bright. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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