I’ve dreaded today since last year. I didn't want today to be his last day of school as much as he didn't want it to be either. His words, his statements, his actions, and his reactions all tumbled out at me and my heart is aching. Sure we will get through it and he will have fun over the summer but it’s an emotional rollercoaster for him every time his routine is changed. We are focusing on today but that doesn’t mean he didn’t ask every ten seconds all morning long about school until he got on that bus. He thrives on that daily routine. He wants me to do all the things I do and he wants to do all the things he does. And anything that doesn’t fit in those boxes is open for discussion and that discussion happens a lot. He had a good morning but he was certainly concerned that this was his last day of school. We got out to the bus stop and he was completely focused on what was happening in the days ahead. “Be with mommy tomorrow” has been repeated from before he left to go to school, when I picked him up from school, and pretty much all the time since we left his school. Any and all breaks are hard for him. When I picked him up from school his teacher told me he did good but it was emotional. He’s still learning how to process all of his emotions. He did really well at therapy today. He’s had a very busy week so I was proud of how well he did with each one of his sessions. When we left there he wanted to go by the windows and then we came home. He brought his school tablet home and he was so happy about that. He loves doing his schoolwork on the apps and he immediately wanted his tablet as soon as we got home. He got upset when we couldn’t immediately get into one of the apps but after a little while we could. He ate his snack but he didn’t eat much for dinner. He was very concerned about tomorrow and what he would be doing. He also wanted to know about Saturday. My heart aches knowing this is so hard on him. Bedtime did not go smoothly. I lost count at four times that he got up and came to tell me that my light was on that he can’t see from his room, and that he was concerned about not going to school tomorrow. I finally had to turn my light off and then he fell asleep, maybe it was from pure exhaustion. I attempted to sit with him and that made him scream. Ever since Curious George convinced him to go to bed by himself he doesn’t want me to sit in his room. Most nights it still works like a dream. Tonight was not one of them. I pray he sleeps through the night. This has been a long, busy, emotional week for him, and lots of activities. He mentioned he wanted to go ride his bike tomorrow so I pray he will want to go. I am thankful for his laugh and that smile that brightens my world. Focus on the positive side of life and watch your world change. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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