I think I was awake before I was even asleep. I knew today would be tough but it was rougher than tough and rough around the edges. But there were several happy moments as well. Owen was awake by three and wanted to play the apps on his school tablet. He loves learning and having his school tablet at home added one more thing for him to concentrate on during the night. There was no convincing him to go back to sleep and that was that. I tried to send him back to bed several times and it was met with screams and that always leads to meltdowns if I don’t stop them quick enough. Trying to reprimand him or doing timeouts can spiral us into another dimension. I’ve never been great at that mom voice. It always sounds cranky to me. I need to work on it for the teenage years. He woke up on a mission to go to grandma’s tomorrow. He had the opportunity to go to breakfast with her today and then go ride his bike but he couldn’t process that. He could only process going tomorrow but woke by three in the morning the day before to make sure he didn’t miss going to her house tomorrow. He kept watching the summer vacation video and I know that is partly how he is processing the fact that everything he loves has changed for now. I tried several times throughout the day to get him to go ride his bike but he didn’t want to go anywhere except tomorrow. The highlight of my day was dancing with Owen in his bedroom. He was playing videos and I heard a character talking in a singsong voice. I started mimicking the voice in a made up song. He started screaming as he generally does when I sing but I kept walking to his room. I sang out, “dance with me dance with me” and we danced. He laughed and threw his arms up in the air and twirled around. It’s always amazing to watch him be connected to his body. His confidence shined through. Bedtime was not lost on me. He was out, I was out, and then I woke up with a start thinking it was already Saturday and I had only slept fifteen minutes. I pray he sleeps all night and tomorrow is all that he wants it to be. Through our struggles, I find growth for both of us and that’s what matters. Our story is not always easy to explain but the love sure is. Follow your heart and let your dreams change your world. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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