Monday On The Mind

The happy dance of sleep is upon us. Night two of sleep for Owen. I woke a couple of times, searching to make sure I hadn’t missed him, and trying to remember what day it was going to be. Sleep, glorious sleep. Owen is very opinionated, aren’t we all. Because of this and many other numerous things, he screams. Oh wait, he screams for everything. He wanted to take a bath yesterday, all day. It’s not a matter of giving in, because as soon as the bath is done, he asks again. I do believe he would stay in the water all day. I have a feeling it’s all sensory related. He wants the feeling the water gives him on his body. I wish I could figure out how to provide that type of comfort for him all the time. The second part of the equation for his baths is he likes to drink the water. This is where I take a big sigh. He doesn’t simply want to drink the water, he wants to gag on the water. I believe he is learning how his body works. He also thrives on my emotions. So, one has to remain calm, while saying don’t drink the water, while knowing the water drinking and gagging will commence soon. If my breath doesn’t tell him that I’m waiting for it, my face will give me away every time. Momma needs to learn a stern poker face. The last few weeks have been hard. Not only has Owen been changing right before my eyes and sharing his opinions, I have been faced with a lot of other people’s opinions, as well. Emotions don’t come in the one-size fits all package. Some people move on from grief quickly, even if it is on the surface. Others go through a cycle, or maybe it comes back in waves. There is no right or wrong amount of time for emotions to move on. But their we are still faced with the fact that someone else wants us to feel the same way the same way they do, or to get over it. I’m emotional. Owen is my world and when he struggles, I struggle. And sometimes I struggle even when he is thriving. That’s the nature of the emotional beast. The key is breathe. Allow yourself your emotions, allow yourself to grieve, or be happy, or sad, or mad, or glad, and keep moving forward. But know you are not alone. Life happens when you have something else planned, that’s what my momma always said to me. Today is a brand new day. Your emotions, in your time, and in your way, will get you through the day. Because of Owen I am blessed. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!