Monday When It Matters

I can’t stop thinking about the fact that summer will be here soon. And summer means no routine of school. He’ll go to summer school, but it’s only a couple weeks. Last night Owen had one thing on his mind and that was school. After dinner and his bath, he started asking for his teacher. “Finished de work and then I can go to school”, he said. He went on to ask for her repeatedly. “In de morning I go to school”, he went on. How do I find peace for him. At least he now understands that he doesn’t get to go to school until the morning. When he woke up this morning he was in a good mode. He was listening to instructions and followed through on what I told him to do. We got ready for school and I walked him to the bus stop. He was laughing as we walked along, staring off at things in the distance. I wish he could tell me what he found funny, but his laughter felt great. Some days I don’t feel like I can even laugh when he’s laughing. It’s like it takes great effort to express my emotions and find happiness in the moment. The sadness of not knowing what he is laughing at wins over the fact that I should just be happy my sweet baby O is happy. I try not to let it phase me because that laugh is contagious, but the sadness still sits there. I push myself to smile, to laugh, and to let the tears be gone. We stood at the bus stop, with him wanting to set the timer on my phone. “When de timer goes off de bus will be here real soon fifften minutes” he said. I started explaining to him about time. I went on to say how many seconds were in a minute and how many minutes were in an hour. I want him to understand time and what it means for our days. I reflect about our past often so I can have a better focus on our future. Let today be your guide for tomorrow. Emotions will always be part of the ever-changing rollercoaster ride, but know that you are a lot stronger than you think you are. Make today matter. Smiles to all and donut daze!