What I got is exactly what I needed, a mostly sleep-full night, mostly. I fell asleep later than I meant to and cried harder than I should have for more reasons than I want to think about but I got more sleep than I have in more nights than I can imagine. Owen came to my bed at some point. Luckily, he fell back asleep and I waited as long as I could after he did to go to the bathroom. I didn’t want him waking again. I was able to fall back asleep but was quickly woken up by a foot in my spine. A queen-size bed is truly not big enough. Although I really don’t think a king would work much better because Owen prefers sleeping in a somersault fashion. The great news is he slept until after eight. I was in and out at that point but it was certainly wonderful to get more sleep even with a toe up my nose. He was ready for church when he got up but it’s still always a process to get us going. It’s easier in some ways to get him ready for school because there isn’t much time between when we wake up and when he goes. With church though there is more time, we have before we leave. He did better than most mornings though and even the ride to church was calmer for us. I kept asking Siri to translate different animals into languages and he was thrilled. When we got to his classroom they had found his megaphone. As soon as he saw it the smile on his face said it all. He was so thrilled and I was thankful that found it because I couldn’t even imagine where we lost it. I don’t know why I’m amazed at everything Owen retains but his memory seriously rivals a computer. I’m working with him on his comprehension skills and his connections to events. He has a hard time answering questions that need a follow-through or that are based on information from past events. Tomorrow we are going to one of his therapy sessions that we only go to about once a month. I kept asking him questions to see if he could figure it out. I didn’t want to tell him until he guessed so throughout the day I gave him hints and then asked him a question. He was able to finally tell me and I was thrilled he was able to come up with the answer. He is using more of the phrases he is learning from videos or apps that he plays. He is constantly adding and deleting apps because he likes to see certain ways or screens they show. He started doing a review on an app he was downloading and he said, “two minutes downloading and then you can play again.” I’ve heard these words so many times I know that each section is from two separate app reviews from two different people telling the features of the apps. It’s truly a gift that he stores everything in his memory. “Say hi Owen dog on the stairs,” he said quickly when he was staring out our front window. I braced for the meltdown but thankfully I was able to distract him with his dinner. He used to only get upset when someone was standing on the corner. Now when my neighbor lets their dog out, that isn’t even the lady or the dog that he originally got upset about he wants them to come to say hi to him. But it’s actually the furthest thing from what he really wants them to do. He wants them to be on the corner standing where the lady stood. After years of piecing this all together and I still wonder if I have any of it right. I do know that he has cried himself to sleep more nights than I can imagine over the years because of people that are or aren’t outside our window. This isn’t even something I can predict. I have thought about putting a film on the window so we can’t see out but that isn’t going to help him learn coping skills but maybe I’ll overthink this too. The highlight of my night was when he was standing tall in the living room and doing his scales on his own. He loves music even though sometimes he doesn’t or acts like he doesn’t. He’s brilliant at it too. He has a natural rhythm about him and we are working on his fine motor skills for him to be able to play some of the instruments he still tries and his voice is beautiful. He knows how to harmonize and it was very important to me that music be a focus for him. So when I hear him playing one of his instruments or singing his scales without me prompting him it makes me that much happier. These are the little victories that lead to his huge accomplishments. Some days all the edges feel rough but the middle part is like a fresh baked warm gooey cookie. I pray he sleeps tonight, I pray for strength tomorrow, and I pray that happiness and giggles are shared by all. Laughter is truly music to your soul. Smiles to all and donut daze!
I'm Lynn Browder. Owen's Mommy. The best moments in time are when I get to see the smile on his face and that giggle come from his heart.