The last twenty-four hours seems like there were one too many rollercoaster rides that we got on, holding a pizza, while trying to eat ice cream, and yodeling while saying the alphabet backwards in pig Latin. I’m still trying to process all of my emotions from yesterday and along comes his school IEP meeting that tells me all the things that they are working on with him and where his skills are lacking or improving. Suck up the tears and call me done. I never walk out of one of these meetings feeling unscathed. They just hurt. They aren’t meant to be mean and no one was mean but they are very emotional to me. This is my child, my sweet baby O, and I want to do everything I can to make his world better. He processes things differently, don’t we all. My role is mommy, hear me roar, and to love him with all my heart. Yesterday I sat on my couch trying to get Owen to bring me a box of tissues. He had his hand on the alarm clock right next to it but he couldn’t understand the instructions to bring it to me. It had taken us several minutes for him to even get that close with my directions. He is only now beginning to learn how to point and he doesn’t understand when I point in the direction of something that is where I want him to look or go. My heart races a little faster thinking about the struggles my baby goes through. I have to make him feel safe in his quest for knowledge and growth. My own struggles are right beside his, mirroring the pain he has and my own pains when I know I have to keep going so he will learn these skills. I wanted to get up and show him the tissue box, put it in his hands but I needed him to have a sense of accomplishment. After a few more moments and him bringing me several other things like the umbrella that was in the stand next to the door he brought me the tissues. I told him he did amazing work and had him help me clean off his tablet. Today, listening to the words coming from Owen’s support team I knew they were right on many of the points but I still wanted to put my fingers in my ears, block it all out with “la la la I’m not listening” and run out of the room. The night went better than most, with tons of laughter, smiles, and hugs. We worked on his math and spelling. He decided it would be hilarious to spell giraffe and then asked Siri how to say it in Russian. And then kept repeating it. He fell asleep clutching his book, speaking Russian, and laughing about a giraffe. This is the perfect picture of happiness to me. There is nothing better than hearing my sweet baby O’s laugh to change my world. He has taught me what’s important in life and that’s love, laughter, and the Lord. Tomorrow is a brand new day. Find your inspiration and go after your dreams. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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