Owen was in a good mood when he woke up, when he came home from school, and until he went to bed. That’s when he became a little cranky. He got mad at me because I wasn’t correcting him when he was yelling at me so he started gagging himself and screaming louder. I turned off the calming music that I always wonder if doesn’t have the opposite effect on him. I try different ones all the time and some seem to help and others seem to create chaos. He finds patterns quickly in music even when it says there is no pattern or loop. I can tell he gets stuck on a section and wants to hear it over and over. Earlier I opened Owen’s toy box. He plays with none of them unless I interact with him or tell him to play with a certain toy. I couldn’t make myself go through them. I always close the lid. I wanted to see what I should give away or try to reintroduce but instead, I once again closed the lid. People would ask me what his favorite toy was or what he would like for his birthday or Christmas and I’d get a lump in my throat. How do you explain that even as a toddler he didn’t play with toys as a toddler would play with a toy. I never minded the questions, I still don’t but the answers are hard sometimes for me. It’s like when I would take him to his checkups and they have the forms you have to fill out saying exactly what your baby could do at certain stages. It still brings tears to my eyes. I’m thankful for his pediatrician because she never made me fill out the forms. She talked to me, she really talked to me. Those checkups have also been as much about me as they were Owen. Those forms are hard. I told her that we needed to develop a form that allowed Owen to be Owen and not based on what the expectations of the world were. The tears are still rolling down my cheeks. But that is one moment in time. Today my sweet baby O not only talks, but he also talks in more languages than I even can figure out. He can count to thousand in English and at least twenty in numerous other languages. He knows his shapes, colors, alphabet, sings, plays instruments, paints, and makes his momma smile. No form is ever going to define Owen or any other child. I understand its purpose, I truly do, but what’s more important is making sure Owen knows he is amazing and can and is accomplishing anything he sets his mind to. As he was getting into bed he started listing all the shapes he knew. I asked him how many sides a triangle has. He said, “one two free”. I asked him how many sides a circle has and he said, “all of them”. I smiled and I kept asking him questions. Together we learn and tomorrow we grow. Never give up on the hope of tomorrow. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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