There are days that literally putting one foot in front of the other is hard. Partly because of the arthritis I have and partly because it always feels two shades of cloudy. Today has been one of those days. I feel like crying nonstop might take some of the hurt away but I cried multiple times today and that solved nothing. This weekend has felt off for Owen, sensory seeking and lots of input high on the list. I wonder if it’s the growth in his body that is causing these moments or my own emotions. Potty training seems like it has taken a backward spin. I get mad at myself for not being able to figure it all out. And then I can turn right around and say he’s done so well this weekend. We went to lunch today with some church friends. I’ll tell you it’s exactly what I needed. I almost told them, no, but I’m thankful I pushed myself to go. Not only was it nice to talk to people that understand so much of what I go through it was wonderful for Owen to go. He also ate great. I got him four chicken nuggets and fries. Not only did he eat all four “potato” as he was calling the chicken, he asked for more, eating two more in the restaurant and the other two on the way home. Plus, he ate a handful of fries. When we got home I think that is when the emotions overflowed. He went to the bathroom numerous times only to come out and pee on the floor. He does so incredibly well at school, but at home, it seems to be one distraction after another that keeps him from going to the potty. I’ve tried not letting him have his tablet, but that hasn’t helped matters either. We worked on his fine motor skills throughout the day, mostly trying to count to ten with his fingers and painting. I wonder sometimes if he likes the emotions I have when he wets himself instead of going to the potty. He truly feeds off my feelings so I try to keep them in check, but here they sit raw and in his face because he knows how to read me so well. Today I’m trying to let go of the emotions and walk the walk of being proud of our accomplishments. I’m thankful for the laughter he gave me even through my tears. Smile for the whole world to see and know that even on your harder days you are not alone. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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