I wish I could stop crying. Owen wanted me to figure out what was on his tablet screen. Let’s say he moved on quicker than I have. The meltdown happened so fast and I didn’t even know what I was trying to calm him down from. As quickly as it started it ended. It took me a while to calm myself but the emotional rollercoaster stayed with me all night. The days seem to be very emotional lately. One thing after another keeps me rooted in one spot, trying to push forward through it all but still emotional at that. I can tell Owen is making huge progress though. His words and attention span seem to be increasing almost daily. His sentence structure is something we have been working on and I can hear him trying to make more concise sentences. It’s exciting to hear his progress even though I feel like I’m the one backtracking. Today felt extremely lonely. He felt extremely connected and disconnected to me all in the same breath. He goes through phases where he listens really well to me and then other days, like today where he laughs when I ask him to do something but he wants me to do things for him in the very second he asks. It’s a give and take with us I guess. He didn’t want to take his bath tonight until late. There was no convincing either. But I pretty much wasn’t rushing anything because it seems like some nights it takes him forever to fall asleep. Tonight was one of those nights and once he did he woke right back up again. I have to be very quiet right after he falls asleep and I still can’t move my arm from draping it across him in the “big hug” maneuver. I’m thankful for his smile and the words that he gave me today. Through tired eyes, I know that tomorrow will be a brand new day and he will accomplish mote amazing things. Believe in miracles. I see mine right in front of me every day. Find your smile, rejoice all that you have accomplished, and be proud of where you are heading. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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