Before six o’clock in the morning we had already worked on establishing that Owen is learning how to wipe his hands on a towel, he has lost some of the concepts of throwing a ball, and knows what my favorite color is but doesn’t understand what that means. And after six o’clock in the morning, I realized exactly how exhausted I was. I’m staring at Owen's uneaten dinner, waiting for him to come to eat. I’ve asked numerous times for him to come but he refuses. I lose the energy some days to make him come eat with me. I’m exhausted today, completely and totally exhausted. He went and spent a few hours with his grandma and that helps all of us. He’s felt calmer and more connected the last few days. He still has his moments and he’s not sleeping well but his words feel more like he can express what he wants. When we woke this morning he immediately started asking for grandma. He knows his schedule. And he wants his routine to stay the same. I told him that he wasn’t going to see her at five in the morning but he would see her later. He immediately wanted to get his tablet but I reminded him he needed to go potty first. He went but he wasn’t thrilled I was making him. When he came out of the bathroom he ran to where his soccer ball was. He pulled it out and talked to it for a moment. He put it back and he got his basketball. I asked him to throw it to me. He’s never mastered this skill but today it felt like he couldn’t process what I was asking him. He’s much better about throwing it into a hoop than throwing it towards me and he’s still learning to catch the ball. Every time I asked him to stand in a spot to throw to me he would turn around and drop it from the air. The concept wasn’t there. My emotions run-heavy. A few minutes earlier he had dried his hand on his towel, a skill that the day before seemed impossible, and then he couldn’t throw the ball. Sometimes those skills or words feel like they have been put on a shelf, waiting to be used again some day but still need to be worked through. It was like he could dry his hands effectively and efficiently but the skill needed to throw the ball was up on the shelf. I know he’ll be able to do it another day so we’ll try again tomorrow. Every day is a gift. Through emotional days I learn to cope, I grow right alongside Owen, and I rejoice in the progress he makes. Find your inspiration, know that you are amazing, and tomorrow is a brand new day. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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