Owen slept better last night than he had in a while. Me, not so much. I try to pack so much in those hours after he goes to sleep, the me time. But that means most of the time I stay up past midnight and then he wakes me by five every day practically. I should start saving this me time for every other Thursday and when he sleeps. If only I knew when that was going to be. I can see his anxiousness moving through him when he does certain tasks. He has to repeat steps and those steps dictate how he needs me to respond and his own rules of what is supposed to happen. I wish I knew how to help him with this process. He purposely selects to open and close screens or pop-up boxes so he can ask for help. As I talk him through it he keeps yelling for help. Once he finally closes the box or app he will then cover his eyes with his arm and lifts his head up and down. I’ve always assumed he does this to see the reflections and shadows as they move through his vision. Maybe one day he will be able to tell me. If I don’t answer correctly to his cries for help or his need to repeat his day’s events it continues until his needs are met by either me saying the right words or him finishing the process he started. My words and actions can be the difference between an exhausting meltdown that can last for hours or him moving forward quickly. The pressure is on me to get it right. I’m not sure why he started talking about diapers tonight but he wanted me to know there would be “no diapers today”. He hasn’t worn them now in about two years so I’m not sure what brought this on. Maybe this was a process he needed to get through or was finally able to communicate his emotions. Either way, he was right and he has come so far. The language train is in full steam ahead. I can ask him to say something in another language and after saying “no” he quickly goes into saying the phrase I have requested. He knows phrases in at least eleven languages that I have counted and the sky is the limit for my sweet baby O. The hope is in tomorrow and my shining star is doing amazing. Never give up on the hope for tomorrow for it shines bright in our hearts. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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