Today felt like an easily complicated day that was full of twists and turns with emotions on top of emotions. Owen seemed calmer today for the most part but when his emotions skyrocketed they soared quickly. He doesn’t always have the expressive words to tell me how he is feeling so when he can't get me to understand something he wants it can quickly become a meltdown. It seems more important than ever to work with him on breathing techniques and body awareness. The bigger he gets I no longer can carry him. And being able to carry him was my saving grace in situations where his fight or flight instincts would take over. When I walk into a room I look for all the possible places he could run or hide. I then look for doors and windows that are slightly ajar or being opened often. These are all triggers for meltdowns for Owen. I’m trying not to think of all the emotions that are attached to this, for both of us. Even with all our emotions today and several mini meltdowns he still felt calmer, until it was bedtime. He gets something on his mind and right when I think he is falling asleep he finds something to scream about. Tonight was the fact that he wasn’t going to get to see his teacher but then it turned into teachers. At first, he was mad because he wasn't going to school tomorrow, missing out on seeing his teacher but then it moved onto him crying about his previous teacher. To him, there was no closure from last year. He went on spring break and he never went back to see her. He has a hard time with phone calls and video chats, screaming at the top of his lungs, especially when he knows the person, so that wasn’t an option. Well, tonight he kept yelling her name saying that he was not going to see her again. This phrase and behavior are common though for even people he sees every day. As soon as Owen comes home from school he says the same thing about his current teacher. I dream of a day this is easier for him and his emotions meet his expressive words right there in the middle. And if he keeps going like he is he will be able to say his emotions in all of the languages. I rejoice in his smile and knowing that he is growing every day. Find your inspiration, share your smile, and know that you are important. Smiles to all and donut daze!
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