Plain Wednesday

Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving and the closer we get to it the more it has reminded me of Christmas a few years ago. Owen is starting to understand more about the holidays but there isn’t a huge significance in what they truly mean. For him, it means our routine is thrown off. I remember telling Owen we were going to see family on that Christmas Day. I wanted him to open one of his presents that had been sitting in our living room for weeks. He had been sitting on the large wrapped package whenever he wanted to. His whole body fit across it, so he would occasionally lay on the box playing with his tablet. It was now part of his world, integrated into his daily life. And that morning I did the unthinkable, I unwrapped the present. I shake still, thinking about the cries from my baby as I ripped the paper off the package. Our day was done. I sat holding Owen on the floor. He cried and screamed for hours. The emotional toll on both of us was incredible. I didn’t even attempt to open anything else. Things are different now yet the same. He still doesn’t really understand presents but wrapping paper doesn’t upset him as it did. I try not to get emotional about the moments I can’t even think through or change. I couldn’t process any of it then and it has stopped me in my tracks years later. I try not to upset Owen. But I also want him to learn and grow. I also want to learn and grow. I can’t stop trying new things because of moments like these but I am still hesitant to push too many things at one time. Sometimes the reaction to our daily life doesn’t happen until days, weeks, or months later. He remembers everything and will bring up detail of something he couldn’t even express before. His words are getting stronger every day and it is allowing him to share his story with me. Everyone‘s story is important. Share your story and know that you are not alone. Smiles to all and donut daze!